Comedy

"i love when my cat purrs for no reason. she’s just happy to be here."
"i woof and bark at my dog when he’s woofing and barking at me and i just hope i’m not calling him any dog slurs by accident"
"You ever have a dog smell your pants so long that it hurts your feelings?"
"I love when cats just straight up loaf with no limbs to be found :)"
"cat owners be like yea i like it when they do nothing"
"sometimes my cat is a little guy but other times he’s a little man"
"'we don’t deserve dogs' i do. i have a really good personality"
Musk goaded his foes ahead of his "SNL" hosting gig.