Comedy

"People should get paid time off whenever their cat decides it's time to sit on their belly"
"I think my dog is just using me for my walks"
"Adopting a cat with a weird little meow is like winning the lottery"
"Sometimes, I’ll say something to my dog then he will blankly stare past me and I just know he’s seeing how I die."
"does anyone else have a pet that nags them to go to sleep? like, do you have work tomorrow or something lil bro??"
"Thought some notification had come in on my husband’s phone but turned out it was the cat snoring."
“Just met 4 dachshunds in the park called Gary, Steve, Kevin and Dave, and my day improved by approximately 659%”
"having a pet rlly shows u how pure love can be, like me n this lil creature love each other to DEATH and nvr held a conversation."
“Hey, tell your dog I said, ‘woof.’ He’ll know what it means.”
"Once you’ve taken a nap with a dog in the middle of the day, how can you continue to believe in capitalism even a little bit"