"Having a dog means you feel guilty going o-u-t to e-a-t."
"Me: *is allergic to cats* Also me: *rubs face with cat* *boops cat nose* *sleeps right next to cat*"
"The Daily Show" host also wondered why some who are convinced Jesus will protect them are stocking up on guns.
If you do go out and the "tip of your AK-47 touches the tip of your buddy's AK," you're not properly socially distancing, she warns on "Saturday Night Live."
Cast members dream of their special times in the city before COVID-19.
Would a little buzz really be so bad, wonders Cecily Strong.
Pitt bashes Donald Trump, then thanks Fauci for his "calm" and his "clarity in this unnerving time."
Bad Bunny, Paul Rudd, Jason Sudeikis, JD Khalid and Charles Barkley also made cameos on the second at-home "Saturday Night Live."
One tip from "Trump" for high school grads: “Surround yourself with the worst people you can find; that way you’ll always shine.”