Pilsner. Stout. IPA. Witbier. Porter. There’s a beer for everyone.
Apparently there’s a beer tweet for every preference as well. Whether you crave craft beers, can’t say no to a cold Bud Light or indulge in the occasional shower beer, you’re not alone.
In honor of International Beer Day, we’ve rounded up 35 funny and relatable tweets about beer.
Is there such a thing as boxed beer, and if not, why not— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) July 24, 2020
[morning after my brother's bachelor party]— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 2, 2019
Me: I'm never drinking again.
Brother: Want a beer?
people are so anxious for bars to re-open like they don't know you can charge yourself double for a beer and stare at your phone at home too— maura quint (@behindyourback) May 21, 2020
putting a beer in the freezer when you have ADD is dicey— Imani Gandy ☄️🌏🔥 (@AngryBlackLady) July 30, 2020
I'm impressed with who I become when I don't have an opener for a bottle of beer— Pugnado 🐾 (@LuvPug) August 27, 2016
New game: "Imported Craft Beer or Influential Philosopher?"— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) November 12, 2013
"I can do that. Hold my beer" - My last words, probably.— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) June 18, 2013
Ever had beer so good that 2 sips in you're ready to quit your job, buy all that stuff in your Amazon wish list and move to an island??— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 29, 2020
Today is the 2 year anniversary of me chipping my front tooth on a beer bottle to impress a guy who it turns out already had a girlfriend.— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 9, 2017
beer commercial: this is beer.— blank 🧼👏😷🆒 (@mister_blank) July 18, 2020
beer commercial: but what if we told you this beer was brewed by the finest brewmasters in amsterdam with hops grown from the corpses of the second-finest brewmasters in amsterdam?
Wife: We need a new fridge.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 29, 2018
Me: This is a terrible day.
Wife: You can use the old fridge as a beer fridge.
Me: This is the best day of my life.
Me, pouring beer: I’m gonna have a beer, want one?— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) July 6, 2020
Husband: it’s so hot out aren’t you worried it’ll get warm
Me, putting down the now empty glass: sorry what?
ME: ugh how did I get so drunk last night— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) August 19, 2016
*flashback to me drinking a lot of beer for hours*
ME: I guess we'll never know
Home Depot Employee: Sir, you’re not allowed to drink beer in here.— The Dad (@thedad) December 4, 2019
Me: [in display shower] How else am supposed to test this out?
Quick shoutout to beer: you've been fucking amazing throughout this whole ordeal.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 30, 2020
Here's to all the Americans who think Sam Adams was one of the Founding Fathers— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 4, 2014
[Inventing beer]— Michael (@Home_Halfway) September 1, 2015
I wanna drink bread
Make it look like pee
& get drunk off it
& if you make it it's all you talk about
macklemore looks like how an IPA tastes— tiffany wines (@radioheadass) January 22, 2016
me, drinking a beer: you know what would go great with this, a beer— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) July 25, 2018
hate when people say don't give bread to ducks cuz its bad for them. Beer is bad for me but I'd love people to randomly throw it at my house— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) February 28, 2016
I just said “that would be a good breakfast beer” so this is going to be a pretty good vacation— Bart (@bartandsoul) February 16, 2020
3-year-old: *hands me a plastic golf club* Want to play golf?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 23, 2018
Me: I don't know.
3: *hands me a can of beer*
Me: I'm in.
I respect craft beer but I only drink art beer.— maura quint (@behindyourback) March 29, 2016
What's the better coffee for Sunday morning? A stout or a wheat beer?— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 17, 2020
*pours Coors Light on ant hill* Party on, little dudes!— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 28, 2012
thank you to the craft bartender who heard my request of “i want a beer that sucks and straight up tastes like nothing” and didn’t laugh at me and just gave me his worst, cheapest beer, thanks todd, thank you— Scaachi (@Scaachi) February 25, 2019
If it weren't for Sam Adams I would have no idea what season it was.— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) November 22, 2013
A woman with long talon nails was buying cans of Bud Light Lime-A-Rita, so I'll be spending all weekend worrying how she got them open.— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) July 31, 2015
Wife: I’m heading to the store. Do you want anything?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 21, 2016
Me: A sense of meaning and purpose in my life.
Wife: *adds beer to the grocery list*
Me: Want a beer— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) March 29, 2014
Me: I have Coors light on tap
N: What else do you have
Me: A strong feeling I'm not gonna like you
at the grocery store and the guy in front of me is buying a case of Budweiser and 4 bags of walnuts. SOMEONE KNOWS HOW TO PARTY— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 23, 2013
I need a beer. And possibly a sledgehammer— Imani Gandy ☄️🌏🔥 (@AngryBlackLady) December 18, 2019