Finding Myself in the Spilled Water

Finding Myself in the Spilled Water
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Today at work I spilled my water bottle all over my desk. I sprung to action and grabbed some paper towels to stop the water from spreading.
Mildly annoyed, I grumbled as I sopped up the mess.
As I wiped the water away I realized just how dirty my desk was. The paper towels were filthy. So I kept going, wiping down more areas of the desk unaffected by the water. I threw out old notes and tablets that no longer served me. Suddenly my desk felt fresher, cleaner and brighter.
So often when something goes wrong our attitude turns sour. Mine certainly did when the water initially came whooshing out of the bottle. But if I hadn't spilled the water, I wouldn't have noticed how disgusting my workspace had become. Crumbs in the keyboard, dust on the monitor, dirt on the surface.
I was also annoyed that I had to stop what I was doing to clean up the mess. But again the water forced me to slow down, clean up and re-evaluate. Maybe there were germs lingering that needed to be disinfected? Maybe that's why I've been battling a cold for three weeks?
Instead of being annoyed my water bottle spilled, I found myself rejuvenated, ready to tackle the story I had been working on with a clean desk and recharged perspective.
Too often we gripe about the bumps in the road instead of realizing they are gifts.
A break up might be necessary in order to find our truest self. Instead of trying to adapt and salvage a relationship with the wrong person, we realize it's better to be alone and authentic.
Sure it gets lonely sometimes, but at least you can dance in the middle of the night in your underwear with no judgment. You are in control of the remote, what's for dinner and have a bed to yourself without anyone stealing the covers or keeping you up snoring.
You're no longer angry trying to get them to listen by yelling at the top of your lungs, or slamming a door.
All that negative energy is gone. You no longer seek out that person's attention--for them to hug you, dance, set up a date night, talk, kiss. You realize nothing is wrong with you; it's as simple as being stuck in a situation because you are a good person, cared deeply and had committed yourself to the relationship, but somewhere deep inside of you knew things didn't match up and you were filled with constant guilt.
Sure, the breakup was messy. Full of angry words and bad decisions. There are still aftershocks that surprise you from time to time. But you no longer regret walking away, even when things get ugly and scary.
Because from underneath the rubble, you start to finally see yourself, your true self for the first time and instead of putting yourself down, wondering if you are too fat, too emotional, too sensitive, too open, you finally realize you don't have to live up to anybody's expectations to be happy.
Little by little you wash away the hurt and the pain lessens. You look in the mirror and smile.
You're still here. You survived.
The water spilled, it made a huge mess, it forced you to stop the routine and address the situation. But thank god the water bottle fell over because it provided a clean desk and fresh start.

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