The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
RHCP: Red Hot Chili Peppers
— hillary (not sara) (@smithsara79) November 22, 2021
my brain: Real Housewives of Chili Peppers
rediscovered the joy of reading for pleasure (bragging about it)
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) November 22, 2021
when my niece was 7 i accompanied her on a school field trip & all day long her classmates ran away from me or stared at me…in fear. so i asked her what their issue was & she said for months she convinced her classmates i was a real life vampire & they were, in fact, terrified.
— gaialect (@gaialect) November 21, 2021
40 y/o stand up comedians be like:
— sarah lugor! (@sarahlugor) November 21, 2021
“i hate my wife.”
“i think i have gout”
“gen z love phone”
“thank you i’ll be here all night”
just got my stupid little 7 dollar coffee to fill the void and now i’m gonna stare at my stupid little thousand dollar phone to fill the void. anyway the void is not full
— chrissy chlapecka (@chrissychlapp) November 21, 2021
[caught in an alien spaceship’s tractor beam]
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) November 23, 2021
Me: *calmly getting vaccination card out of my purse pocket*
Why are people posting their name’s urban dictionary definitions did I wake up in 2011
— raina (@quakerraina) November 23, 2021
20% off isn’t a Black Friday deal, that’s student discount. Wow me by making it 50% off or something
— 8. (@GoWithTheFlo__) November 21, 2021
The older you get, the less people you let know when you're in town.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) November 22, 2021
I asked a financial planner if any of her clients who are my age are like maybe I shouldn't save for retirement because society will collapse and this will all burn way before then and she was like "um not really no" and then she just continued the PowerPoint
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) November 21, 2021
my mother introducing me to her friends https://t.co/fZ2jPKyjFI
— annie (@thisyearsgurl) November 20, 2021
I think we learn about other planets too young. They should keep it from us until we’re like, 16. Then be like, “guess the fuck what.”
— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) November 23, 2021
Been breaking the same pair of dr martens in for two years and starting to suspect I am the one who will break first
— Rose Dommu (@rosedommu) November 21, 2021
rest in peace princess diana, i know you would have loved pete davidson
— 🧚🏽♀️ 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔫𝔞.𝔢𝔱𝔥 🧚🏽♀️ (@pareenasumbli) November 21, 2021
just remembered how right before I got ready to do stand up for 6,000 people, my little sister was like “i know you’re too stressed and irritable right now for me to tell you that your lipstick color doesn’t go with your outfit at all, so that’s why I’m not gonna say it 😊”
— abby govindan (@abbygov) November 21, 2021
people loooove talking about “tolerance breaks” when it comes to the devil’s lettuce but forget the greatest tolerance break is when u don’t wear makeup for a few days and then put it on and realize you’re the most beautiful creature on god’s green earth
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 23, 2021
you’re telling me if i complete the task that is giving me stress then my anxiety about it will go away????? sounds fake
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) November 22, 2021
I just think it’s cute that stamps are stickers with a job
— Feliz nAvivadad 🌟 (@AvivaMaiArtzy) November 22, 2021
A lot of people in holiday movies giving first edition books as gifts
— Meg Stalter (@megstalter) November 22, 2021
Just once I want to listen to a true crime podcast and have the family say “Honestly, she was kind of an asshole. But we still need to find out who did it.”
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) November 23, 2021
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