Minnie Driver knows the utter exhaustion and pure joy of parenthood.
The actor has a son, Henry Story Driver, with television writer and producer Timothy J. Lea. Since becoming a mom in 2008, she’s shared her thoughts on early challenges, single parenthood, work-life balance and more in a number of interviews.
In honor of her birthday, here are 15 quotes about motherhood from Driver.
On The Wonder Of Parenting
“The unquantifiable love. It just takes my breath away. My son’s face in the morning, or if I hear him ‘Mama, Mama, Mama’ and I go and he’s just sitting there in his crib, in the dark cause, you know, often he wakes up early it’s still dark outside. When I turn the lights on he’s like ‘Mama!’ And it’s just, it feels like Christmas. It’s just, you know, the thing of loving something more than you can ― it is, it’s sometimes terrifying and I can’t, you can’t really go there. You can’t go there thinking of the absence of that. You know, it’s so, it’s so extraordinary and I, you know, everyone tells you that and everyone says that. You can’t know until you have it. It just blows your mind. Yeah, Henry.”
On Waiting To Become A Mom
“It was never the right time, right place or right person. Too many women put it off until everything is in place, but there’s never a perfect time, is there? ... I wouldn’t change a thing about what I’ve done in the past because what may have been bad choices have all led me to this moment. I’m incredibly happy because I’ve got my beautiful baby and lovely partner.”
On Early Challenges
“If he’s sleeping I’m trying to sleep and when you’re breastfeeding you’re the milk machine. There’s no time to pick up the guitar, much less go for a walk or have a beer.”
On Self-Care
“I think the things that challenge us most are often our greatest teachers. I think women just need to pick one thing that you do for you in your week if you can’t even do it in your day. Whether it’s going for a swim in the evening with your girls or whether it’s going for a glass of wine while your husband watches your kids one night each week. You have to find that one thing.”
On Acting While Pregnant
“It was horrible. I don’t recommend it. It was really sort of a great idea. It was me in my previous incarnation thinking, ‘Oh! It’ll be fun!’ I’d just been on tour and that had been a bit tough but I was like ‘Oh, it’ll be fine. It’s a small part.’ You forget, like, it was a heat wave in New York. It was 100 degrees. You’re on New York City streets, the stink, I’m in a long-sleeve T-shirt with overalls, I was so hot and uncomfortable and waiting around. You should just be at home.”
On Work-Life Balance
“I’m lucky, Henry goes everywhere with me. When I’m working, I have full-time child care. When I’m not working, I’ve got myself and friends and babysitter once in a while.”
On What Matters Most
“There’s no amount of hassle that could be bigger than my love for Henry and the hilarity and joy that he has brought into my life.”
On Privilege
“I think it’s very challenging for women certainly who have the economic
challenge ... How do you balance it? If you don’t have child care and it’s just you and your husband’s out to work or maybe you work, how do you do it?”
On Her Son’s Personality
“Mama was his first word, Dada, then ‘tar’ – which is guitar. And Bubba, which is the dog. And now he blows kisses at the ladies in the supermarket. He’s a big flirt. Big blue eyes, big white blond head of hair. He’s very handsome.”
On Getting The Hang Of Things
“There’s no way, as a new mum, I could have let Henry cry for long ... a little bit, maybe. Besides, once you get your feeding sorted, their sleeping patterns fall into place. I’ve never brought Henry into bed with me, which was very hard, but I wanted to teach him that his bed isn’t a scary, isolated place. Now he’s the happiest, funniest, sweetest and most adaptable baby; he has slept in more drawers, walk-in closets and hotel bathrooms than you can imagine.”
On Her Son’s Hypothetical Acting Goals
“I would say good luck! [Laughs] Good luck and I’ll always cook for you when you’re totally broke.”
On Postpartum Work
“I made one film, ‘Motherhood,’ when I was heavily pregnant and then two more afterwards. My entire pregnancy and two years post-birth will be on the big screen. Flabby stomach and giant boobs for all to see.”
On The Intensity Of Parenting
“Making these really important choices on extraordinarily little amounts of sleep is the most challenging part. It’s hardcore. Protecting your newborn baby, being able to feed them, being able to feed yourself, being able to keep the clothes clean, being able to keep the place clean ... it’s really challenging when you’re sleeping for maybe two-hour increments and then waking up and breastfeeding. Well, I was. It was hardcore. The first year is not for the faint of heart, but it’s amazing.”
On Staying In The Moment
“I learned you have to be incredibly present, and you mustn’t miss anything. You have to pay close attention because these babies change on an hour-to-hour basis.”
On Being A Single Mom
“It’s the greatest love affair of my life, with this baby. I’m a single mom, [but] his dad is amazing and in his life. I don’t feel alone. Babies attract love ... They attract people who love them.”
