From unconventional meal times to insatiable appetites to bizarre food combinations, people are certainly going outside the box — and they’re tweeting about it, too.
To look back at how our diets have changed in 2020, we’ve rounded up 60 funny tweets about pandemic eating habits.
Chocolate chip cookies were once a soothing snack at the beginning of quarantine. They have now progressed to dinner.— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) July 7, 2020
Is inability to stop eating a symptom of Coronavirus?— Dana Berger - Actress (@DanaMerylBerger) March 24, 2020
Remember when everyone used to say the key to losing weight was eating more of your meals at home?— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) May 16, 2020
Me [pouring a can of baked beans into a wine glass]: I wouldn’t say quarantine has changed me, no— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) March 20, 2020
I never thought the apocalypse would involve so much eating.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 5, 2020
Pandemic Diary, Day Whatever. You eat a sandwich. A tomato seed falls out, lands on your shirt. You stop eating and just stare at it.— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) June 15, 2020
Me: let’s use the quarantine to try foods that you wouldn’t normally eat!— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) April 16, 2020
3yo: *eats play-doh*
Me: yeah not like that.
quarantine day 19:— Franchesca Ramsey (@chescaleigh) April 2, 2020
"who the FUCK ate half this tray of brownies?!?! ... me. it was me."
I hope all my fellow single people in isolation are relishing the simple joy of eating as much garlic as they want every day without the concern that they might want to pash someone later on— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) April 17, 2020
Text from boss: can you be on a Zoom meeting with the rest of the team in an hour?— The Dad (@thedad) April 25, 2020
Me, eating ice cream in the bath: if I move a few things around I should be able to
I'm not saying I'm eating a lot of crap during this quarantine, I'm just saying that my belly button has begun to socially distance itself away from the rest of my body.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 13, 2020
I like to wear my mask inside to keep me from eating.— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) April 22, 2020
My wife: Time to do dishes again— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 30, 2020
Me (eating spaghettios out of a gravy boat): Why do you ask?
Day 14: apparently my persistent dry cough was just from lying on my back in bed eating Pringles.— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) March 27, 2020
My quarantine daily schedule is just a list of desserts I want to eat.— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) March 16, 2020
My daughter is eating Oreos with a fork in case anyone is wondering what level of cabin fever she's at.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 17, 2020
The hardest part of quarantine is waiting to eat the good snacks until the kids aren't around.— Becky Too Many Kids, Send Help (@beckyhas4kids) April 20, 2020
Here's the thing. They're always around.
I'm eating an apple without cutting it into slices first because quarantine has made me rugged.— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) April 3, 2020
last night i saw a young woman strolling in prospect park eating ben & jerry's straight from the pint and i bowed my head in respect— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) September 16, 2020
Just saw my 4yo eat a banana like a corn on the cob... so yes the quarantine has changed us.— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 28, 2020
I wouldn’t say I’ve been overeating, no. I’d argue I’ve been eating exactly the right amount necessary to deal.— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) April 15, 2020
I just ate a whole pack of Skittles while wrapped in a blanket looking out the window. It’s a quarantine fuh real.— Lilly Singh (@Lilly) March 26, 2020
Quarantine day whatever: I have started putting different names on the lunches in my fridge and then eating them just to feel like I’m in the office.— Kalvonavirus (@KalvinMacleod) March 23, 2020
That’s great you learned 3 new hobbies during quarantine which included candle making Susan, I learned how to eat double my own body weight in snacks so samesies— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 8, 2020
today is a good day for breakfast wine— Imani Gandy ☄️🌎🔥 (@AngryBlackLady) April 9, 2020
Just in case you are my neighbor neighbors, I do not have COVID, I’m coughing because I ate ice cream too fast— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) August 7, 2020
I SAID I’M FINE.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 29, 2020
- Me, while eating a bag of potato chips in the shower
Quarantine is me thinking about what I'm going to have for dinner while I'm currently stuffing my face with lunch.— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) April 28, 2020
for lunch i keep eating this upsettingly spicy instant ramen which causes me pain in many ways and yet i keep doing it, perhaps because it is good to feel something other than rage— Scaachi (@Scaachi) April 6, 2020
Lunch today was champagne and cake I really don’t give a fuck anymore— Rachel Pegram (@rachelpegram) April 6, 2020
[Zoom call]— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 4, 2020
Me: [eating Cap'n Crunch]
Boss: WHOEVER IS MINING ROCKS IN A QUARRY CAN YOU PLEASE PUT YOUR PHONE ON MUTE
We’ve reached the part of the quarantine where we’re eating gift basket items from the back shelves of the pantry. Water cracker or cheese straw, anyone?— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) March 25, 2020
Our toddler swiped a package of muffins from the counter and ate three before we caught him, and I get it, cause I’m eating my feelings lately too.— Dad on my Feet (@dad_on_my_feet) April 2, 2020
Reporter (via Skype): So tell us, how have you been staying productive during quarantine?— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) March 25, 2020
* crunching *
Me: I’m eating these bbq chips while my Haagen-dazs thaws. So, multi-tasking.
I've been eating a bar of soap every morning for breakfast and so far, NO COVID!— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 28, 2020
I just ate 42 Starburst Minis. Like a normal person.— Stacey (@skittle624) April 2, 2020
okay so we’re eating 5 dinners but then doing push-ups on insta live? gotcha— Stephanie Mickus (@smickable) March 26, 2020
We can all learn a lot from this self isolation business. I’ve learned so far that I don’t know when to stop eating. I can tell you this much though - it’s not when I’m full.— David Hughes (@david8hughes) March 27, 2020
6:30am Breakfast.— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) April 25, 2020
Society has been doing mealtimes totally wrong.
*ordering lunch during quarantine*— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) March 22, 2020
Me: Hi yes, I’ll have the kale salad and my boyfriend will have the double cheese burger with chili cheese fries and 5 cookies.
My houseplant: FOR THE LAST TIME, I’M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!
how come everyone else on here is like “oh no my cocktail hour is steadily getting earlier and earlier as i work from home” but i’m worried about my lunch getting bumped up earlier than its already upsettingly early 11am— Scaachi (@Scaachi) March 23, 2020
Kids During The Regular School Year: Take a single corner bite of their sandwich and eat exactly three raisins.— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) April 8, 2020
Kids During Quarantine: Shovel food into their mouths like they’re in a hot dog eating contest trying to win an 8 million dollar prize.
I’m eating a mango popsicle. That’s right. And I’m gonna eat a watermelon one. Then I’m gonna eat a lime one. Then I might circle back to mango— Imani Gandy ☄️🌎🔥 (@AngryBlackLady) September 7, 2020
i've been eating a lot of salad these days. lucky charms is a salad. i will not be taking questions at this time.— rachelle mandik 🕳 (@rachelle_mandik) April 24, 2020
No, YOU chased an increasingly-elusive dopamine hit by eating half a dozen cookies— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) March 25, 2020
I see it took a pandemic for people to realize the superiority of my diet, the all processed food diet. Jokes on you I've been eating stuff that doesn't expire for years!— Secular Talk (@KyleKulinski) March 16, 2020
7: Mom, what’s for dinner?— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 27, 2020
Me [standing at the open pantry door eating chocolate chips straight from the bag]: Take your pick
the best part of my quarantine trajectory is how in march i was hell bent on eating "healthy" (fuck off?) every day and now i am chasing cake for breakfast with a jumbo freezie— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) May 26, 2020
ME: Diligently sanitizing countertops, faucets, door knobs, light switches, remote controls, phones, hands,— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) March 22, 2020
ALSO ME: Eating a piece of a Kit Kat I dropped on the floor because wasting chocolate? In these times?
I now understand why retired people eat dinner so early.— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) March 26, 2020
I’m eating less so the alcohol hits me more it’s called rationing maybe you’ve heard of it— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) March 18, 2020
Me: *eating a sandwich I made using homemade bread* Mmmm just like a regular sandwich but slightly worse— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) March 19, 2020
THRILLED to announce that i bought a frozen shrimp ring at the start of quarantine to celebrate its eventual end and, because there is no real end in sight, i am eating it for lunch right now.— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) May 25, 2020
protect yourself from infection by eating only smooth foods that can be easily wiped down with disinfectant, such as m&m's, skittles, or uncooked hot dogs (no buns!)— blank 🧼👏😷🆒 (@mister_blank) March 16, 2020
Pretty early on in quarantine I got freaked out, confused, and ate a can of beans thinking, "This all means I eat cans of beans now"— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) July 11, 2020
just ate a whole romaine lettuce head to see if I could teach my body to get full off of nothing in case you were wondering how I’m doing.— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) March 15, 2020
To liven up quarantine, I've started eating meals in a different room each day.— Marloween (@Marlebean) April 30, 2020
So far, toilet soup is my least favorite.
If you're not sitting alone in a dark room, slowly eating apple slices off a bowie knife while listening to your neighbour practice the accordian, are you really quarantining?— Mary Gillis (@living_marble) March 31, 2020