It’s officially a new school year and, needless to say, it’s going about as well as anyone would’ve guessed.
While plenty of students have returned to school for in-person classes, many families are navigating the confusing world of remote learning at home (or a “hybrid” combination of the two options) amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Fortunately, parents have found a way to laugh about the chaos and make their peers feel less alone.
We’ve rounded up 50 tweets about remote learning from parents who are riding the roller coaster of this new school year.
Zoom preschool is both hilarious and depressing. My 4 year old keeps unmuting himself and yelling 'I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME! IS THIS MEETING OVER YET?'
— Alexis Diao (@meowdiao) September 2, 2020
Today is my kids’ first day of e-learning, or as it’s known colloquially, “eh”-learning.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) September 8, 2020
*5 yo on her kindergarten Zoom class*
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) September 3, 2020
Teacher: "So what do you do before joining our Zoom class?"
5yo: "My mommy hits me and says 'do good!"
Me, no make-up, bagel crumbs on my face, unexpectedly joining the Zoom class: "SHE MEANS I HIGH FIVE HER HAND!!!"
Week one of virtual 1st grade is 75% showing off pets
— Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) August 21, 2020
Schools: “You are required to have your camera ON AT ALL TIMES during remote learning.”
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) August 25, 2020
Schools 2 weeks later after seeing countless half naked toddlers and husbands in the background: “You are now required to keep your camera OFF AT ALL TIMES during remote learning.”
You can be a calm, rational person who doesn’t rage-eat potato chips before 10am, or you can be a parent of children doing online school. You cannot be both.
— Mommy Meme Jeans (@mommymemejeans) August 24, 2020
Kindergarten zoom gym class punctuated by a parent saying "I'm just OVER IT" loudly over and over again and then "Oh, are you unmuted?"
— 💀 damned sinker 💀 (@dansinker) September 2, 2020
Downloaded 87,642 new apps just to communicate with my kids’ school.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 8, 2020
My 7 year old’s teacher had to disable the chat function because the kids kept typing poop.
— Karine (@KarineReiter1) September 2, 2020
Not even part of the way though day 1 of school, my 11yo has lost 2 pens, a calculator , a pencil and a notebook.
— Heather #BLM (@dishs_up) September 1, 2020
She’s been sitting at the kitchen table the whole time. How?
Remote Learning Log, Week 2, Day 6: Zoom ain’t workin’.
— stacia l. brown (@slb79) August 24, 2020
"MOMMY, ARE YOU HOOKED UP TO YOUR MILKING MACHINE???"
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) September 1, 2020
and other things my kid yelled over Zoom on the first day of school.
What this third day of online school really needed was a lizard on the loose in the kitchen during class
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) August 19, 2020
Oh, this first grade teacher says, "capeesh?"
— Becky Too Many Kids, Send Help (@beckyhas4kids) August 31, 2020
It's going to be a long year.
One boy in my son’s first grade class raises his hand first thing every morning and tells the teacher how many days it’s been since he lost his tooth. Four days today.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) August 26, 2020
If my kid fails gym class online this year I’m really going to be pissed
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) September 8, 2020
STOP LICKING YOUR ANUS, PENNY!
— Marl (@Marlebean) August 13, 2020
I scream at my dog, unaware my kids are in zoom class
Current topic of Zoom kindergarten: how to raise your hand so that it doesn't get cropped by the camera.
— 💀 damned sinker 💀 (@dansinker) August 27, 2020
5-year-old: I can’t do more kindergarten. My leg is hurting and that means my skeleton is broken.
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) August 31, 2020
Me: It’s just a story video on the iPad. You’re fine.
5-year-old: Maybe I can’t feel my fingers.
‘Twas the night before remote schooling started and all through the house, not a creature was stirring because Mommy had given them all copious amounts of melatonin then taken triple her Xanax with a Grey Goose chaser.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) September 8, 2020
one kid in my daughter’s 1st grade class figured out how to change his background to an Amtrak and he’d yell in the middle of class “gotta go! my train is here!”
— Rupal Parekh (@rupalparekh) September 3, 2020
It's called "remote learning" because of the remote chance my kids are going to learn anything.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) September 4, 2020
“Remember, you are a generally intelligent human and passed 4th grade”
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) August 10, 2020
-Me to me on the first day of e-learning for my 5th grader
I expressed worry about 13 yo’s 4 hours per day, 4 days per week virtual schedule and he assured me that it’s fine because you don’t need to be smart anymore.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) August 21, 2020
School supply list for virtual learning:
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) August 24, 2020
One box of crayons for kid
One one bottle of wine for me
Two glue sticks for kid
Two bottles of wine for me
One pair of scissors for kid
Three bottles of wine for me
I’d say the hardest part about remote learning is that I can no longer threaten to ground my kids from screens because honestly that was really all I had.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 3, 2020
My friends 1st grader (who is in the same class as the kid I’m nannying) told the class her favorite part of summer was seeing a brown booby and both her mom and step dad are in the background going “tell them it’s a bird. Explain it’s a bird. It’s a seabird tell them that” 🤣
— Oh Gee, Put on a Mask (@ohgeeitsdeegee) September 3, 2020
Love the first day of school pics of your kids with their laptops at the kitchen table and esp love the flowers strategically placed in the background but we should also get to see the pics where everyone’s losing their shit and screaming that everything sucks. Cause balance.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 2, 2020
All the grandparents out there watching grandkids while they attend virtual schooling: now’s your chance to teach them cursive.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 18, 2020
Virtual school vocabulary:
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) September 1, 2020
Irish coffee
Mierda
Screwdriver
Rage eating
Desperation
Mojito
Time out
Exasperation
So far my 5yo’s remote school is mostly learning how to mute and unmute which means the tradition of learning everything you need to know in kindergarten is alive and well.
— Farah Miller (@farahlearned) September 8, 2020
My 3rd grader’s class is playing Boggle on Zoom. A girl called out a word I couldn’t hear, then said, “As in ‘human flesh,’” and now I’m frantically searching the screen for what her word is.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 24, 2020
Zoom 2nd grade is fun. When my son gets bored he just closes the laptop and walks away. "Technical issues!" He yells.
— Keith Edwards (@KEdwardK) September 2, 2020
Anyone else’s 6th grader just randomly yell “WHAT THE HELL!?” Into a zoom meeting while unmuted?
— Heather #BLM (@dishs_up) September 3, 2020
Just mine? Okay.
My 5th grader was all pissed off the first day of virtual learning because we made her wear headphones and they obscured her dangly earrings and nobody would be able to see them during Zoom. Kill me now.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) August 24, 2020
2 hours into Virtual Learning Day 1.
— Becky Too Many Kids, Send Help (@beckyhas4kids) August 31, 2020
This kid is asking to take his lunch hour early.
He's ready for the work world. We're done here.
In a virtual meet & greet with 9yo's new teacher and the sound keeps cutting out—the kids have missed maybe half of what she's said so far. She came back right as she was saying "we expect all students to use technology appropriately." lolllllll this bodes well
— Nicole Chung (@nicolesjchung) August 28, 2020
My friend’s son is remote learning right now and driving her insane and she legit said, “I can’t wait until his daycare opens up again!” High school. She means his high school.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) August 24, 2020
Two weeks of Google Meetup/Zoom classes and I'm pretty sure my son will work on a farm before he works in an office.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) September 1, 2020
Kids: *sitting on floor*
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 4, 2020
Me: why aren’t you guys on your Zoom call?
Kids: Internet’s out
Me: Did you try reconnecting?
Kids:
Me: Did you reboot your computers?
Kids:
Me: So, you just quit for the day?
Kids: Yup
Me: *wonders if it’s too early to start drinking*
A boy in my son’s online first grade class told the teacher he felt like he was going to puke. The teacher said he should go to the bathroom. He held up a small trashcan. The teacher said, “Oh, well, looks like you’re ready.” And they continued on learning shapes in Spanish.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) August 29, 2020
We're 8 minutes into virtual learning.
— Becky Too Many Kids, Send Help (@beckyhas4kids) August 31, 2020
There are twins in this class and they aren't allowed to be in the same room because there's too much echo.
They all tried to unmute to say the pledge of allegiance together and this is so far off the rails. Let's call it a day.
What wine pairs well with Common Core math?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 24, 2020
If a parent has two children under the age of 10 doing remote learning, how many days into the start of the school year will they start counting how many days are left in the school year?
— Julie Vick (@vickjulie) September 2, 2020
Every high school kid on the first day of school Zoom today has a parent in the background yelling, "IS IT WORKING, HONEY? WHAT? OH, THEY CAN'T HEAR ME. FINE, FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF THEN. BUT I'LL BE IN THE KITCHEN IF YOU NEED HELP!"
— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) August 19, 2020
1999 HS Graduate Brittany: Thank God I am never using math again.
— Brittany Gibbons (@brittanyherself) August 24, 2020
2020 Virtual Learning Parent Brittany: WHAT ARE RECIPROCALS AND WHY DOES YOUR CALCULATOR HAVE BUTTONS WITH WHOLE WORDS ON IT? pic.twitter.com/5zHM0vip0S
Kid’s teacher on Zoom: “Hi, Mrs. Brown! It’s nice to see you again. What lipstick is that? I love it!”
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) August 26, 2020
Me: “It’s not lipstick, it’s wine. I started drinking at 7am today.”
My 9yo is testing the limits of virtual learning by having the dogs watch training videos on YouTube.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) August 18, 2020
She said if she can virtual learn then so can they.
The fun thing about virtual school is my teeth gradually being ground down to powder
— Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) August 20, 2020
Me: okay, we finally got all the school Zoom directions done and we are in class!!
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 3, 2020
Internet: I think I’ll stop working
Before You Go
