Like many defining moments throughout history, most people remember where they were when Rihanna shut down the Met Gala in a canary yellow cape gown that spawned a thousand memes.
The year was 2015. The theme was “China: Through the Looking Glass.” Per usual, the singer more than understood the assignment, stunning in a haute couture look from designer Guo Pei that was instantly hailed as the best of the night.
So who would’ve guessed that Rihanna, just like us mere mortals, experienced a tinge of fashion regret before she arrived at the function in New York, revealing in a new interview that she felt like a “clown” in the extra-in-the-best-way outfit.
“I remember being so scared to get out of that car because I felt like, ‘I’m doing too much,’” the Fenty designer told Access in a interview on Wednesday. “I was driving past the red carpet and I was just seeing gowns.”
“I was like, ‘Oh my God, I’m a clown, people are gonna laugh at me,” she added. “This is too much.’”
Rihanna went onto reveal that her team circled the block three times because of her anxiety and worry, in part about how they would exit the car due to the voluminous-and-then-some cape.
“The choreography of getting in the car and getting out — like, we had to choreograph it,” she explained. “Who sits at the doors? Where does the coat go? Where do I sit?”
Ultimately, Rihanna decided she couldn’t let the look go to waste and made her grand arrival. And, hey, if she was a clown, then the whole event was a circus, OK?
“I circled like three times. I’m not even joking,” she said. “Finally, I was like, ‘Whatever, let’s just go.’”
Despite practically oozing self-confidence in front of the cameras, Rihanna has been candid about her struggles with anxiety and overcoming panic attacks in recent years.
The singer abruptly pulled out of the 2016 Grammys just before she was supposed to go on stage to perform “Kiss It Better” when her uneasiness became overwhelming.
“Oh, I’m nervous before even getting in the car to go to something,” she told British Vogue earlier this year. “It can be devastating. And when I pull up to the red carpet, I’m like … ‘Are you kidding me?’”
She added: “Being on camera, being in a room full of celebrities is still not normal for me, by the way.”
The pressure from her legion of fans, dubbed the Navy, who beg for details about her next music drop likely isn’t helping.
But rest assured, the Barbados native said that fans are “not going to be disappointed” when her ninth album arrives sometime in the near future.
“I am always working on music and when I am ready to put it out in the way that I feel fit, it’s gonna come out,” the artist told Entertainment Tonight this week. “I’m not just gonna put it out just because people are waiting. It’s taken this long. I’m gonna make it worth it.”