The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
living with roommates is fun because you get to learn what their parents think should be refrigerated
— hottest bitch in joann fabrics (@teehee_sarah) April 4, 2021
my father-in-law asked me what stops me from not stealing, or lying, or cheating, or murdering if I don't read the Bible and that's when I realized... my father-in-law? should not stop reading the Bible
— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) April 4, 2021
me watching my own ig story:
— jite (@JlTEAGEGE) April 5, 2021
wow, she’s so cool and cute and fun
melting down at the discovery that hugh grant’s middle name is mungo. humongo grant. someone held a tiny newborn infant in their arms and said this is my baby, humongo grant.
— molly conger (@socialistdogmom) April 7, 2021
Can cetaphil just make a small effort to not look like jizz?
— Liza Treyger (@GlitterCheese) April 6, 2021
Phil Collins created that Tarzan soundtrack with the passion of someone whose parents were personally killed by a leopard
— katie (@socompliKATIEd) April 4, 2021
Gyno: what’s your tattoo say
— elsie 🚀 (@activesandal) April 6, 2021
Me: it’s nothing don’t even worry about it
Gyno: 🧐 “if... you can—
Me: fine it says “if you can read it you can eat it” I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry
I got the Pfizer vaccine and pso pfar pno pside effects.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 8, 2021
boy are you jesus? because you've been dead to me for three days
— ziwe (@ziwe) April 4, 2021
i like that in john's account of the resurrection he makes sure to note the fact that he outran peter on the way to the tomb. absolutely no reason to put that in there other than shade, now preserved into eternity
— anne boleyn 👑✨ (@merrilymaralie) April 4, 2021
wow did not know Covid19 was a swear pic.twitter.com/OYmAcdj3ap
— kelsey mckinney (@mckinneykelsey) April 8, 2021
I can’t wait to refuse my first hug
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) April 3, 2021
my niece just asked me if i’ve ever smoked weed “using a bong” before and i’ve never been more prepared to be the world’s coolest aunt
— ashley ray (@theeashleyray) April 4, 2021
Me waiting for the hot water to come out in the shower pic.twitter.com/dtw8vGjsld
— 𝓐𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓪✨ (@ariesstfu) April 5, 2021
One of the most serious side effects of the vaccine is realizing that free healthcare is amazing.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) April 3, 2021
mom i threw up pic.twitter.com/44egRJgooN
— catarina. (@catarinacmrg) April 6, 2021
I got mask-shamed for the first time today in a fast food restaurant in a very red part of CO. A woman looked at me and said “That mask looks so stupid.” I was shocked and didn’t know what to do and said, “So does your jacket,” because I am not extremely mature when I am shocked.
— hodel in the streets, chava in the sheets (@mrotzie) April 5, 2021
my family me explaining
— 🌻 (@kingmick_xx) April 4, 2021
watching a where we've seen
movie each actor before pic.twitter.com/DuZhde0zCd
Hmm I want this zit to go away maybe I should turn it into an open wound
— Allison O'Conor (@allisonoconor) April 8, 2021
me in undergrad: I'm smart
— Julia Milton (@yuliamilton) April 3, 2021
me in masters: I'm dumb
me in phd: everyone in the world - including and especially myself - is dumb