Cooking for kids is often a thankless endeavor.
Even if you manage to find time in your busy parenting schedule to prepare a full meal, there’s a solid chance your dining patrons (aka children) may find something wrong with it. And God forbid you accidentally make a real mistake because it will not be forgotten.
Fortunately, the funny moms and dads of Twitter can relate. We’ve rounded up 27 funny tweets about parents’ cooking fails.
The most rewarding part of making a delicious, balanced meal for my 2-year-old is when she ignores it and eats Trix off the floor instead.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 1, 2014
You know, for someone who eats their own boogers you sure do have a lot of bad things to say about my cooking.
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) June 20, 2020
Of course I learn from my mistakes. Can’t you see that only one side of your grilled cheese is burned?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 11, 2020
We had lunch at a friend’s house today. Turns out my kids aren’t picky eaters. I’m just a horrible cook.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 3, 2018
asked my 5-year-old what she wanted for dinner and she said “not a burned quesadilla” bc in the summer of 2019 I overcooked one side of her quesadilla
— todd dillard (@toddedillard) March 3, 2021
[gets home from gym]
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 4, 2021
6: mommy almost burned the house down with dinner!!
me:
wife: I don't wanna talk about it.
6-year-old: Can I have a snack?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 3, 2020
Me: No. Then you won't eat your dinner.
6: I won't eat my dinner anyway.
Her honesty is not appreciated.
IT HAPPENED TO ME: I baked chocolate chip cookies so bad that my 13 yo son won’t even eat them for breakfast. pic.twitter.com/DV2v6TwId4
— Moderna Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) April 23, 2020
3: I want pizza for dinner
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 10, 2020
Me: are you sure?
3: yeah I want pizza!
Me: ok, but last time you asked for pizza, I made it for you and you didn’t want it
3: I want it! I want it!
Me: okay, fine
3: yayyyyy pizza!
Me: *makes & serves the pizza*
3: I don’t want pizza
It takes my kids 20 minutes to find their shoes but give them 5 seconds and they’ll find a single flake of parsley in the dinner they now refuse to eat.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 2, 2020
Fun fact: If you sing casserole to the tune of Tootsie Roll, your kids still won't eat dinner but they will be just as annoyed as you, so winning.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) August 10, 2020
A teardrop tattoo for every homemade dinner kids refuse to eat.
— lilswizzy (@MotherPlaylist) March 17, 2021
"Can you make us McDonalds for dinner?"
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 28, 2014
--Toddler code for I don't intend to eat what you're about to cook, but I do want a new toy.
Making food your kid won’t eat isn’t a competition, but I’m winning.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) February 10, 2019
3 burned himself (not badly) touching the stove to see if it was hot after I told him it was hot and not to touch it.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) July 6, 2019
3- Mommy! The burner assaulted me!!
Toddler Tip: Remember, your goal at dinner is to make them regret cooking.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) July 25, 2015
Son: What’re we having for dinner?
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 11, 2019
Husband: I dunno, buddy. Probably something healthy.
Son: LIKE CHICKEN NUGGETS?!?
Me: Whisper when you’re showing off the results of our bad parenting, please.
Three boys, one home cooked meal:
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) April 5, 2019
8yo only ate meatloaf
4yo only ate carrots
2yo only ate broccoli dipped in ketchup
Sooooo...win, right? RIGHT!?
*Cries softly into my rice*
My son last night when served a casserole: Potatoes, cooked tomatoes, overcooked meat? Add avocado and bananas and it'd be every food I hate
— Chris (@chrisjordan) March 1, 2013
Every meal with my family begins with me saying, “Sorry. It’s overcooked.”
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 16, 2020
If every day you want someone--who hasn't tried what you cooked--to tell you that you've made the worst dinner IN THE WORLD, then parenting is for you.
— Doc McMuffins (@Cynical_Parent) July 8, 2019
Made gnocchi for dinner tonight, to try to introduce the toddler to something new.
— Eric Smith (@ericsmithrocks) February 3, 2021
Did he like it?
Gno.
Over cooked frozen pizza. Told the kids it was the "extra crispy" kind. My 4yo says, "Ooooooh! Fancy!" #pizza #distracted
— According To Mags (@AccordingToMags) January 8, 2012
If I make one side of dinner is overcooked and one side is undercooked, that averages out to me being a really good cook, right?
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) June 28, 2017
Today's entertainment was watching my 15mo refuse to eat the pancake I'd made him only to beg for & devour the breakfast I'd gotten myself.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 8, 2017
8-year-old: My spaghetti tastes funny.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 5, 2020
Me: You didn't put any sauce on it.
8: Maybe you just cooked it wrong.
Today I picked up a turkey that my son will refuse to eat because everything I cook is gross and can he go to grandma's house?
— Meg the Magnificent (@meghaffer) November 15, 2017
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