funniest parenting tweets

"Dining out with kids is a great way to practice talking in angry whispers"
"My 4yo keeps calling our new puppy 'the puplett' no one correct her."
"My toddler threw a clipboard at me.This is no way for a boss to treat an unpaid intern."
"Your toddler is sooooo cute! - People not cleaning up after him."
"Have kids so you always have someone to point out how long your nose hairs are while standing in checkout lines."
"My kids are mad because I took them to the beach all day and bought them ice cream, but I never let them do anything fun."
"Planning a family vacation is mostly just making sure the hotel has a pool."
"Each year, the average toddler spends over four thousand hours sleeping and roughly the same amount of time picking out pajamas."
"My vision board is just a picture of me sleeping."
"We stayed out too late last night so this morning my children are experiencing life without rules."