Funny Tweets

"can’t explain it but travis kelce has ginger cat energy"
"too many white cats being named things like snowball or marshmallow. what about freaky ass white boy"
"Garfield hating Mondays without having a job is stolen valor."
"Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university."
"my dog would freak tf out if she knew she was made of bones"
"When I leave for more than four hours my cat gets so upset she throws up so sometimes I look at my boyfriend and I'm like do you even love me"
"when i say i got that dog in me i mean im insecure confused and really scared right now"
"The most unrealistic thing I've ever seen in a movie is when an entire family sits down to eat breakfast together on a weekday."
"Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice"
"So excited for my kids to return to school so I can spend my free time reading the 50 emails their school sends each day"