"On todays flight I met a cat flying in first class who will be walking in NY and Paris fashion weeks. Life is a bountiful buffet."
"No one is living a better life than the dog of a married couple who have decided not to have kids."
"I hate to say it, but ever since Blake Shelton was named sexiest man alive things have been in shambles."
"I love when families have one or a few standardly named children and one totally out-there-named child and you're just like....what happened here."
Hilarious Tweets About The First Day Of School Every Parent Can Relate To
"if cats are the perfect predators why do they keep getting a single claw stuck on my shirt"
"loveee when dogs make little circles over and over to get cozy and comfy like that is so me"
"it happened to me: i finally answered an email i had been putting off & the person responded right away & now i'm back to square one"
"The day my toddler started asking 'what’s that?' was the day I realized how little I know about everything."
"On the first day of school you cry because your babies are growing up too fast, but after the 1st week of school you're like get out of my car."