Not to be all “Bah! Humbug!” about it, but is there anything more dispiriting than swiping on a dating app during the holidays?
We’re mid-cuffing season, which means everyone who was diligently looking to couple up has probably already paired off and hopped off Hinge. Now, it’s like a (freezing, wintery) jungle out there: You basically get to choose from random people looking to secure a New Year’s Eve hookup or people you went to high school with who are also home for the holidays. (Or who never left to begin with.)
Below, 25 tweets that capture the pure awfulness of swiping during the holiday season.
Merry Christmas to all of the men on dating apps switching their opener from “How was your weekend?” to “Merry Christmas! How was your weekend?” Your subtle holiday remix is a lesson in creativity.
— Jared Freid (@jtrain56) December 25, 2019
heading home for the holidays! can’t wait to re-download a dating app due to ~cuffing season feels~ and then immediately delete it when i see the first elementary school acquaintance pictured w/ one of the trifecta: a weapon, fedora, or baby
— rachael burke (@thatsso_rachael) November 26, 2019
this guy’s tinder bio says “looking for a wife for holidays” like sir do i look like a seasonal employee????
— rose black (@xroseblack) October 24, 2020
a dating app where you just see their family christmas photos and swipe off that alone
— xander (@AlexanderDeLuca) December 25, 2019
Thou shalt not hometown Tinder: ancient holiday proverb
— Taylor Soule (@TaylorOSoule) December 22, 2019
Holiday tinder is so fun because im not looking for new people, I’m looking for people I didn’t sleep with in highschool, that I’m trying to sleep with now
— Gossip Jew (@alyserosenblatt) December 24, 2018
the most magical part of the holiday season is Local Tinder pic.twitter.com/KDxgKEf6xn
— nic kelly (@nicwkelly) December 25, 2019
Nothing says the holidays like sleeping in your childhood bedroom and matching with all of your highschool bullies on tinder
— Natalie (@Natalie42x) November 23, 2018
A guy on Tinder just asked what I’ve been up to today and I said I did some Christmas shopping and he replied “I’m not one for subscribing to the capitalist nightmare” and oh my god is that what I sound like?
— Philiz Navidad (@Philip_Ellis) December 12, 2018
fun tip for being home during the holidays: if u see ur ex on a dating app, gaslight them into believing you’ve never met
— bringineer (@thicgrandpa) December 21, 2020
The real nightmare before Christmas is hometown tinder swiping
— hat (@literallywhy) December 23, 2018
Nothing shouts “I’m single for the holidays” like like my mom telling me she would help me swipe on tinder.
— Jacquie Chitty (@jacqlee11) December 23, 2017
There always ends up being dating app drama around the holidays but at least it won’t top last year when I found out my boyfriend was still on Bumble on Christmas Eve.
— maybe: clare (10 minute version) (@clur19) December 25, 2020
a man on tinder just messaged out of the blue to hook up
— muppet Britmas carol (@britparkhops) December 25, 2020
sir - it’s christmas in a pandemic. no.
When I’m home for the holidays, I change my Tinder profile to show both men and women to play a really fun hometown game of “Where Are They Now”
— The Artist Formerly Known As Goose (@TrevorWoggon) November 23, 2018
At this time of year, I just sometimes remember the man I once met on tinder who critiqued how I had decorated my Christmas tree (badly, apparently) and then tried to woo me with his own home written erotic fiction.
— Lorelei 🌕🧙♀️🕸🍄🦖 (@hatpinwoman) November 19, 2021
Which starred himself.
Messaging some guy on tinder and he said he was going home for Christmas. So I asked where’s home, but it autocorrected to “where’s hole at?”
— Charity Churchmouse (@looseein) December 12, 2019
I may have every dating app downloaded on my phone, but at least I didn’t text any of my exes merry christmas
— Taylor Andrews (@taylorzandrews) December 30, 2019
my favorite thing to do when i'm in my hometown for the holidays is hop on tinder and see who's gay now
— winterrie wonderland ❄️✨ (@gerrieyaki) December 24, 2018
It's my favorite night of the year everyone. The time of year I set my tinder parameters to less than 1 mile and see which coworkers boyfriends are cheating on them. It's time for the office holiday party.
— Copperpot/Fontaine (@CrayonPFish) December 3, 2021
why have high school reunions when you can just use tinder during holiday break
— Grab a bucket ans some Snot (@sofizzled) December 24, 2020
nothing says happy holidays like matching with the same minneapolis tinder gays for the 5th time
— sugar chase latte (@bungeebuddy) November 27, 2020
Is saying “merry Christmas” to ppl on the jewish dating app a hate crime
— ali segel (@OnlineAlison) December 25, 2020
Ahh, home for the holidays. Time to maintain a pen pal relationship with 10-15 guys via dating app, drunk call a few from my childhood bedroom to complain about my family, eventually go on a date with a few of them once I’m back and then realize that we actually hate each other
— moon girl jesse (@tinderdistrict) December 23, 2019
Nothing like a holiday greeting from a dating app to really make you question your choices in life.
— Lauren Collins (@Lauren_Collins) December 26, 2015
Someone tell tinder to add a minimum distance setting so I can filter out people from my hometown that are home for the holiday.
— hallmark hel (@hayeelen) November 24, 2021