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When it comes to Father’s Day gifts, it’s the thought that counts.
But what if those thoughts are really weird? Well, maybe a weird gift is what’s needed for Dad.
HuffPost Weird News is on the case. We’ve polled all the dads in one particular house ― mine ― to come up with this list of the year’s weirdest gifts for the world’s weirdest dads.
Certainly, there is a dad dying to wear a kilt while grilling. Maybe another would love to stick a camera down his ear canal to see all the wax. And, of course, no middle-aged curmudgeon would turn down a neon sign of the middle finger.
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So, don’t worry. When it comes to weirdness, we’ve got your back.
Scuba Diving Monkey Table Lamp
A table lamp in the shape of a scuba diving monkey? Now that's a bright idea!
He Wants A Pacifier Jumpsuit
Some dads are just big kids at heart. For them, there's this outfit.
Matt Branscombe for Big Mouth Inc.
Pen Holder That Looks Like A Person's Rear End
Is your father constantly confused about where to put writing utensils? This technological marvel makes it easy: Put it where the sun doesn't shine.
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Middle-Finger Neon Sign
When your dad sees this lovely neon sign showing the middle finger, he'll give you the thumbs-up for sure.
Bigfoot Branding Iron
Every dad hopes to leave their mark on something. For some, that means completing a great achievement of lasting value. For others, it might just be putting a bigfoot imprint on a tortilla. Different strokes for different folks?
Tees2urDoor.com
World's Greatest Farter T-Shirt
Fatherhood can be a real gas, which is why your dad won't raise a stink if he gets this T-shirt.
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Portable Ball Pit
Nothing makes a dad feel young like playing in a ball pit. This one is smaller than the ones you might find at Chuck E. Cheese, but more sanitary!
Grill Kilt
Grilling is a hot way to spend Father's Day, but if your dad can't stand the heat, maybe he needs to cool things off with a stylish kilt that also holds needed grilling utensils.
Snactiv.com/
The Snactiv
Trying to multitask snack eating while web surfing used to be hard — before the invention of the Snactiv. These chopsticks for your finger allow dad to grab and eat snacks without getting the keyboard greasy. Science marches on!
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Scratchy Back
It's an age-old conundrum for many men: Buy a framed picture or a back scratcher? Thanks to the Scratchy Back, Dad doesn't have to make a Sophie's choice between feeling itchy and feeling artsy.
Theremin
If your music-loving dad is bored by his keyboards, guitars or drums, tempt him with a theremin. This electronic device makes the "wwooooooooooo" sound common in bad horror and sci-fi movies — something Dad will note as he drags out the device for all his music buddies when they aren't praising Steely Dan.
Lawn Mower With Lights
Does your dad fret when he can't think of a new way to annoy his neighbors? Have no fear! A lawnmower with headlights that allows him to mow even in the darkest hours will satisfy his desire to irritate others.
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Bong That Looks Like A Coffee Cup
Some dads need their morning cup of Joe. But if your pop needs a morning jolt of ganja, this coffee cup bong will give him that with a nice dose of subterfuge.
ScapegraceDistillery.com/black
Gin That Changes Color
Dad might want to enjoy a gin and tonic on Father's Day. You can kick things up a notch with black gin that turns lavender when mixed with tonic. You may want to have an extra bottle, because he'll want to show it off repeatedly.
Ear Cleaner That Includes Camera
Does your dad wax nostalgic about all the pleasant times he's had cleaning his ears? No? Maybe that's because he didn't have the Ear View MD, a device that not only allows him to clean his ears, but to look deeply into the canals so he can see all the wax. Some people don't need much to be happy.
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NogginBoss.com
Giant Baseball Hat
"What's this?" your dad might ask when he sees the Noggin Boss.
"A really big baseball hat," you might respond.
"Is it really big?" he might ask skeptically.
"Put it on," you might reply.
And then he might discover for himself.
"It's a really big hat," he might notice.
"Yes, I know," you will definitely say.
"A really big baseball hat," you might respond.
"Is it really big?" he might ask skeptically.
"Put it on," you might reply.
And then he might discover for himself.
"It's a really big hat," he might notice.
"Yes, I know," you will definitely say.
Transformer Rubber Ducks
Baths can be fun, but they are so low-key. Action movie franchises can be entertaining, but they are so loud and bombastic. Do what I do: Split the difference with Transformer Rubber Ducks. You can thank me later.
The Wine Nook
So Dad brought his boxed wine to the pool party, but it looks so — boxy. Luckily, the Wine Nook will add class to the surroundings that no one expected or felt was needed.
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Notorious B.I.G. Coolers
Wondering if Dad will appreciate a cooler dedicated to legendary rapper The Notorious B.I.G.? Well, look at this way — he sang "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems," not "Mo' Coolers, Mo' Problems." Hope that helps.
WowWaterSports.com
Towable Rubber Ducky
Rubby duckies aren't just for the bathtub anymore. This one's for the lake, ocean, river or anywhere else you feel just ducky.
BigMouthInc.com
Joystick Coffee Mug
Does your dad love coffee AND old school video games? This mug will definitely cause a brew-ha-ha on Father's Day.
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Beer Holster
In these ever-changing times, people want consistency — something they can always count on. That must be the reason for this beer holster, for dads who never want to worry about their next beer.
11 Talking Satchel Paige Bobbleheads
Satchel Paige is one of America's greatest baseball pitchers (and, possibly, the most quotable). Your dad will love it when he gets not one, not two, but 11 talking bobbleheads of the legend who once sagely noted: "Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you."
IScream-Shop.com
Home Icee Machine
Dads crave icy drinks as much as their kids, but they don't necessarily want to travel to a convenience store on their day off. The solution? A home Icee machine that will allow your dad to keep his cool even when summer gets hot.
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Kitchen Sink Cufflinks
Plumbing the depths of your imagination trying to find a gift for Dad that won't sink your budget? Here's the answer: kitchen sink cufflinks.
Tertill.com
Robotic Weeder
Robots have gone from cleaning the floors to weeding the garden. At this rate, they might be in charge of next year's weird gift guide. Just a thought.
Electronic Sinus Relief
Clogged-up sinuses can be a real headache — and so can the pills and sprays that are supposed to provide relief. The ClearUP is a medication-free gadget that sends low-current electrical stimulation to sinus nerve fibers. Plus, it will be amusing to watch Dad try it out.
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Smirking Espresso Cups
Even the most devout espresso fan has to admit that the cups that hold the caffeinated beverage lack personality. That's not a problem with these cups featuring a smirking face. Yep, lots of personality. Hope your dad doesn't mind.
Silky Sleep Mask
Do your bad life choices keep your dad awake at night? No, that's your mom's thing? Thanks for the clarity. But if Dad is looking to block out the world, this "sexy, squishy and seriously silky" sleep mask (No hating! That's what the ad says.) may be the ticket. If he thinks it's for something besides sleep, that's his issue.
Replica World Cup Trophy
If your dad dreams soccer day and night, a replica World Cup trophy might be a more aesthetically pleasing gift than an uncomfortably tight jersey or one of those bizarre rooster haircuts — for you, anyway.
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Dishcloths Meant To Guilt Dad Into Doing The Dishes
Want Dad to do more chores around the house? Use some positive reinforcement. For instance, these personalized dishcloths will remind him that those dishes in the sink aren't going to wash themselves.
Innova.com
Code Reader To Figure Out Why Car Isn't Running
A lot of dads like working on cars — if they can figure out what's wrong. The Innova 5310 lets home mechanics diagnose why a car isn't working so they can find the cure. Of course, the device plugs into a cramped area, so you may want to have dad stretch first.
HuffPost may receive a share from purchases made via links on this page. Every item is independently selected by the HuffPost Weird News team. Availability is subject to change.
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