Dreaming of a weird Christmas? Just like the ones you used to know?
HuffPost Weird News is here to help.
Below are some of the strangest gift ideas available this year that are sure to please the nutballs in your life.
Guinea Pig Reindeer Costume
Sure, reindeer are a Christmas tradition, but most people don't have the room in their homes to keep one (plus, they aren't exactly known for their hygiene). However, this reindeer costume will help your lovable old guinea pig fill in if Rudolph is too busy to visit this year.
HummViewer
The HummViewer is a great device for people who want to get close to nature. Really close. Hummingbirds will see the brightly colored fake flowers, fly into them and suck out sugar water. Just be prepared for the sound of birds bumping into your mask.
Charcuterie Gingerbread House
Some people like gingerbread houses at Christmas, while others like charcuterie boards. It's hard to please both crowds, but this charcuterie version of a gingerbread house manages to do the impossible.
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R2-D2 Popcorn Maker
Movie night just got a little better (and weirder) with this R2-D2 popcorn maker.
My Eyes Are Up Here Christmas Sweater
The point of the typical ugly Christmas sweater is to draw eyes to the chest area. The point of this sweater is (checks notes) to hold a beer. Glad to clear that up for you.
Guitar Grip
In the past, musicians in need of guitar storage have been forced to deal with cases or stands. How boring. That's why you've got to hand it to the Guitar Grip.
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Chicken Wine Decanter
Birds of a feather stick together, especially when drinking wine poured from a chicken-shaped decanter.
Max The Dog Costume
The Grinch may have stolen Christmas, but this costume of Max, his dog, has stolen our hearts.
Christmas Poop Log
What would Christmas be without poop? Or at least the "poop log," a tradition in Spain where children find a log before Christmas and feed it and beat it until after the holiday, when it's burned. Then the ashes are used as fertilizer (hence the "poop"). It may seem complicated, but trust me, kids love discussing poop almost as much as they love talking about Christmas.
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Jameson Whiskey Table-Top Tree
Jameson Irish Whiskey is offering a tabletop tree frame that not only looks stylish, but also tells people your priorities without you saying a word.
Burning Brothel Model Railway Set
Anyone who has ever tried to shop for a person who loves model trains, arson and prostitution knows it can be hard finding the perfect gift. Luckily, this burning brothel, complete with scantily clad people running in fear hits that challenging trifecta.
Cannabis-Themed Dog Toys
Since cannabis is legal in some form in the majority of states, maybe it's time you had "the talk" with your family pooch. These cannabis-themed dog toys can be useful visual aids as you explain the difference between a joint and a bong to Rover.
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Santa's Helper Outfit
Yes, dressing up as Santa is a nice holiday touch, but, to be honest, the suit doesn't really show off your body to its fullest. The Santa's Helper outfit will tell the word, "I'm willing to wear strange outfits to celebrate a holiday, but prefer them to be form-fitting."
Rye Whiskey In A Pig-Shaped Bottle
Who was it who said, "Rye whiskey tastes best when poured from a pig's rear end"? No one? Not one person? Oh. Well, the bottle is definitely a conversation piece.
Celebrity Prayer Candles
Sure, you could say a prayer to Jesus or Mary, but why not see if anything happens when you light a prayer candle to the cast of "Schitt's Creek"?
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Spider-Man Desk Lamp
Sure, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is fun to watch, but can it be as entertaining as turning this Spider-Man desk lamp on and off repeatedly?
Santa vs. Shark Dog Sweater
A dog in an ugly Christmas sweater is cute, but when that sweater depicts the age-old battle between Santa and shark, it becomes ... transcendent.
Exorcist Jammies
These jammies depicting Linda Blair's character from "The Exorcist" will be a devilish Christmas gift for the horror film fan in your life.
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Kitty Litter That Changes Color Based On Cat's Urinary Health
"Wow! Kitty made Christmas ornaments in his litter box!"
"Uh, those aren't actually ornaments. It's Genius Litter, a type of litter that changes color based on our cat's urinary health."
"Is there anything stopping me from decorating the house with them?"
"I thought common sense might be a deterrent, but I guess I thought wrong."
"Great!"
"Uh, those aren't actually ornaments. It's Genius Litter, a type of litter that changes color based on our cat's urinary health."
"Is there anything stopping me from decorating the house with them?"
"I thought common sense might be a deterrent, but I guess I thought wrong."
"Great!"
It's Bananas Game
You've heard of using your head? The It's Bananas game requires a different body part — the waist. It can look pretty silly twisting around, but you will either end up learning how to properly twerk or eating half a bottle of ibuprofen — or both.
Sex Toy Advent Calendar
A sex toy advent calendar? It's a great to keep track of when Christmas is coming.
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3-D Bob Ross Puzzle
It's Bob Ross as you've never seen him before — in plastic brick form. No, there aren't any plastic "happy little trees." Deal with it.
Yak Cheese
Yeah, you could make a cheese plate with cow cheese or goat cheese or sheep cheese, but making it with yak cheese will give diners something to really yack about.
Ugly Christmas Blanket
Yes, ugly Christmas sweaters can keep you warm when you're outside of your bed, but to ensure warmth on cold holiday nights, you need an ugly Christmas blanket. A big one. A real big one.
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Lollipops That Stop Hiccups
Candy is a big part of the holiday experience, but the Hiccupop goes beyond mere flavor. It actually stops hiccups. Sweet!
Not-So-Quiet Quitting Neon Sign
What good is quiet quitting if no one actually knows about it? This neon sign will subtly let your co-workers and boss know that you're happy to approach your duties with the bare minimum of effort. God bless us everyone.
Dick On A Desk
Think of the Dick on a Desk as a workplace version of the Elf on the Shelf. The difference is, the Elf supposedly reports your kid's behavior to Santa, while you report Dick's behavior to HR.
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Litecicle.com
Christmas lights look beautiful, but they can be so hard to put up. So it's no wonder some people are hesitant to take them down — ever. The Litecicle uses a system that makes taking down and putting up the lights much easier — and you may not need a ladder.
Wrinkle Paste For Dogs
Sure, your dog looks cute now, but each day it gets older and closer to the wrinkled stage of life. Luckily, SquishFace wrinkle paste will help Rover stay looking as youthful and drooly as always.
Cannabolish Sprays
As cannabis rises in popularity, it's becoming common to smell the telltale odor of kush when you're walking in public. But if you wish to hide that particular scent, Cannabolish sprays should do the trick, making the house smell more like a pine tree. "Good! My secret is safe!"
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Turkey Beer For Dogs
Drinking alone isn't always pleasant, so the next time you crack a tall cold one for yourself, maybe give man's best friend a glass of turkey-flavored beer. He won't get drunk and you won't get lonely.
Thor Wine Stopper
If you're getting hammered on wine, you need Thor's hammer when you've had enough.
Pickle-Themed Pickleball Equipment
Yes, pickleball is becoming one of America's top sports, but the lack of pickle-themed products has left a sour taste in the mouths of many. Thanks to the Big Dill Pickleball Company, that problem has been rectified. Thanks, progress!
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Salted Egg Salmon Skin
For the flavor fiend in your life: fried salmon skin flavored with salted duck egg!
Cuddle Clones
A stuffed animal that's an exact replica of your pet is deja vu all over again.
Godfather Tarot Deck
The Godfather Tarot kit: It's a psychic reading you can't refuse. Really. You shouldn't. Seriously.
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Portable S'mores Maker
S'mores are a great treat, but since doing them the right way requires an open flame, it's not the most convenient dessert. The Terra Flame makes it so you can heat marshmallows on a table without lighting up a whole fire pit.
CBD Suppositories
Many people use CBD to relax, but it can take a while for edibles to take effect, and lots of people don't like smoking or vaping. InYourPleasure CBD suppositories take a different pathway — through your heinie — in order to make you "feel an overall calm in your pelvic region."
T-Rex Planter
Although the Tyrannosaurus rex was a ferocious killer back when dinosaurs were a thing, this planter makes them look downright pastoral.
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How To Speak Chicken Calendar
Learning a new language is a great way to keep your brain active in later years, but anyone can learn a language like Spanish, French or even Mandarin. It takes a special person to learn to speak chicken.
Ted Lasso Little People Set
Waiting for the next season of "Ted Lasso" to appear on Apple TV+? In the meantime, you can act out your own fan fiction with these Little People dolls designed to look like the show's characters.
Automatic Joint-Rolling Machine
Getting all out of joint because rolling a fat one takes too much time and hand-eye coordination? Thank goodness for Beed, a fully automated joint-rolling machine that supposedly rolls a fresh joint faster than you can baste a turkey.
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Ol' Dirty Bastard Figurine
Other than Santa, Rudolph and maybe Buddy the Elf, who says Christmas better than the Wu-Tang Clan's Ol' Dirty Bastard in figurine form? No one. No one. No one.
Crab-Flavored Whiskey
Crab-flavored whiskey: Tastes as good as it sounds!
Cassette Tape Float
This beach float shaped like a cassette tape will not only be a comfortable place to rest in the pool, it will be a good way to educate kids on how people listened to music before smartphones.
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Hippie Van Pipe
Old hippies may get nostalgic when they see a pipe that looks like the VW van they used to go to Grateful Dead shows in.
Star Wars Chess Set
Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, they apparently played chess. And, of course, the stormtroopers are just pawns.
Boot Bananas
If your shoes really stink, you can make them more "appealing" with Boot Bananas, fruit-shaped products that help improve the smell of footwear.
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Chicken vs. Hot Dog
Yet another age-old battle, chicken vs. hot dog, is taken to extremes with a new game.
Patriotic Water Wheel
Patriotism comes in many forms, including, apparently, a giant water wheel.
Tiny Treehouses
Some people like decorating their trees with ornaments. Others might enjoy adding some actual real estate in the form of these tiny treehouses.
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Crab Spoon Holder
Life is hard enough without having to look for that misplaced spoon while making soup. That's why the crab spoon holder is perhaps the greatest invention of our lifetime.
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