E!
As someone who's intentionally child-free, I know what it's like to want adult-only spaces. Don't get me wrong, I love all my nieces and nephews! But sometimes, you're just in the mood for grown-up time.
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Well, I recently stumbled across this post in the "Am I The Asshole" subreddit where a woman left wine night because a friend showed up with her 8-year-old. Here's the full story:
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"I have a friend group of seven women from uni. I'm the only one who's childfree, but one is childless, two are pregnant with their first, and three have kids. We, as a group, rarely meet up. I've seen all of them maybe twice in the last year, and we all live in the same city."
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"Every time someone asks to meet up and we finally find a date everyone is available, one of the moms always asks if they can bring their children. It's usually one of two moms, as the third actually wants to have a kid-free evening. And before anyone else can answer, the other mom says yes. All three moms have husbands who can watch their kids. Most of them also have both sets of grandparents who are involved. But somehow they never manage to find someone who can 'babysit' as they call it."
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"So at this point, I've stopped answering until they've set a time and place, someone has asked about kids, and I say I can't make it. I hang out with them one-on-one, or in smaller groups instead. Well, a few days ago, we agreed to finally meet up. No one had asked about kids, and we were having a BBQ and wine night. Well, who shows up with their 8-year-old? Yep, one of the moms."
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"I clearly didn't hide my annoyance, and one of the girls asked me why. I just waved it off, and 30 minutes later, I excused myself and left. Said I didn't feel well. In those 30 minutes, we hadn't had any 'adult talk' — we were just entertaining the kid. I would rather go home than do this for another 3–4 hours."
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Debmar-Mercury
"After I left, I think they realized this was a pattern, and I got texts from most of the girls in the group: some calling me an asshole, others just saying they were annoyed with me for leaving, while the third mom had my back and asked to meet up later that week to have a proper wine night. I don't hate kids at all. I work with them every day and don't want to spend my time off, relaxing with friends, having to entertain other people's kids again. AITA?" she concluded.
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As you might imagine, there were tons of responses for this one!
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Most people said that OP is not the A-hole:
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But some thought everyone sucked in this situation:
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And some thought that OP was definitely the A-hole:
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Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with this woman wanting to hang out with her friends sans kids. But I do agree with the comments saying OP should communicate clearly — people aren't mind-readers! But now I'm curious: what do you think about all this? Is this woman the A-hole? Does everyone suck?
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