Check out more stories from Busted, our series that offers an unfiltered exploration and celebration of our boobs and ourselves during breast cancer awareness month.
You don’t have to be non-binary to loathe bra shopping, but it certainly helps. Body and gender dysmorphia tend to be intertwined, making it hard to know what undergarments feel bad for gender reasons and what feels bad due to impossible societal beauty standards. These standards are only exacerbated for those who are trans or non-binary (and can be even more damaging to trans disabled individuals and trans people of color). Because of this, I tend to avoid shopping for bras the way people avoid going to the dentist. I never want to browse the lingerie section. I never want to stand on the little platform in the dressing room with mirrors all around me. And I especially never want to have to ask the sales associate for a different size.
I’ve found a good workaround for this is getting my bras at big-box stores that sell everything. When I buy undergarments alongside shampoo and seasonal Mrs. Meyers products, it doesn’t feel like I’m “bra shopping,” it just feels like I’m picking up boring, unremarkable things that I use in my day-to-day.
Some days I wear a chest binder (a super compression chest garment intentionally meant to make your chest look flatter), but because I have such a large chest, binders often make it a little hard to breathe and give me back and shoulder pain. And yes, obviously, I think about top surgery a lot, but I came out as non-binary in 2012, when top surgery wasn’t really a thing for non-binary people yet, so it’s been overwhelming to redefine my understanding of my body knowing a boob chop is ostensibly an option now.
For good and bad, I’ve learned to live with the chest I have in this moment. A large, flappy chest, that gives me really painful underboob heat rashes and sweaty chafing. Though I still do go braless most of the time, in really hot weather or just days where I don’t want my nipples out, I’ve learned the ideal thing for me is what I’ve deemed the anti-bra. It’s a super basic, boxy, stretchy thing, with no clasps, wires, decorations, or doodads. It’s boring and comfortable and you forget you’re wearing it — which is exactly the point.
The anti-bra is not as supportive as a sports bra and I don’t wear it to work out, but I do wear them under tank tops or T-shirts, or when I just want a little coverage without having a whole gender nightmare moment.
As someone who’s continually trying to distance myself from femininity, I tend to react to boob-related content like a child rejecting broccoli at dinner. I don’t want it. I don’t like it. And I don’t want it near me.
Yet, it is for this reason — the discomfort and loneliness that arises regarding boob talk — that it feels important to share my experiences regarding my chest. Surely, I am not the only person out there — regardless of gender — who detests shopping for bras or hearing about breasts. And if you’re reading this, neither are you.
By sharing my experiences with bra shopping, and my favorite anti-bras, I hope to help widen our understanding of boob content and bra shopping in general. These garments aren’t always flirty, sexy pieces that make us feel good. Sometimes they’re a purely functional item, like a drain catcher or a pencil sharpener, that we don’t have to feel anything about.
Whether you’re also a non-binary/transmasculine person or if you just hate buying undergarments, here are my recs for easy, comfortable, non-girly bras, with a little story about each.
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At the beginning of this summer, I was stocking up on white ribbed tank tops (which I always buy online at Target) and saw this ribbed sports bra from the JoyLab brand. I liked it because it looked like a chest binder and had a really square, basic shape, but was ribbed, so it looked a little more structured and tailored. It's branded as a "sports bra," though I would not recommend it for running or high-intensity cardio if you have a larger chest. I love it for wearing under T-shirts and tank tops, to stop underboob sweat and rashes and to give me a little compression and support. It's a thicker fabric which feels nice and makes you feel more secure than some other bralettes.
Colors/sizes: This comes in five colors from S-XL. I have the XL.
Promising review: "Bought in black on a whim & absolutely fell in love. I love the ribbed material, & it actually holds my girls in place (I bought a large- 34ddd so not easy). I want one in every color. Wish there was some kind of bundle to save money." — Amanda
This also has removable cups, which I took out, and it has adjustable straps, though I usually don't fuss with those. I like that it's a full-coverage bralette; it really covers the top of your chest without being too constricting. I wear this a lot without a shirt, when I'm running around the house doing dishes or lounging and I don't want to be completely topless but also don't want to be wearing a whole shirt.
Colors/sizes: This comes in four colors from XS-XL.
Promising review: "Perfect bra if you hate wearing bras. The most comfortable bra I’ve ever owned. No frills, no bells, no whistles. It’s not super sexy and if you plan on running in it, it won’t offer much support but it’s fine to do moderate paced activities in. It’s seamless, nothing digs in, scratches, or rubs on your skin. I’m approx a 34 C and bought a medium and it fits like a dream. A very straight forward bra that’s great to wear under tank tops, kinda feels like a vacation when you have it on." — brittanyyyy
It gives you full coverage through your back and doesn't dig or cling, and has nice straight straps, so it hides nicely under a tank top. It comes with removable cups, which I removed, but it's really just a basic, comfortable piece at a nice price.
Colors/sizes: This comes in three colors in sizes XS-XXL. I have the XL.
Promising review: "Super comfortable sleeping bra. I got in an xl since I did not want it to be tight. I’m 34C for reference." — Erivershill
Colors/sizes: This comes in 23 colors in XS-2XL. I have the XL and it fits great.
Promising review: "Disclosure: most bras do not fit me properly due to double mastectomy with tramflap reconstruction (they don't even do that type of surgery anymore). Thankfully cancer free 18 years later but it's been a nightmare trying to find comfortable bras, especially with weight gain over the years. This CK bralette is the ideal solution for me. It is the most comfortable bra I've had on EVER. It has enough 'structure' to hold in the back/side flabbiness (blush) and does not roll up... well, it may roll up just a little bit but it's not uncomfortable at all whenever it does. The material is so lightweight which helps keep things cool. The straps are not adjustable but they're supremely comfortable and do not slip off my shoulders. The neckline plunges enough to wear lower cut garments. There are no hooks in front or back so it's completely smooth. Feels a bit like spanx but way more comfortable & breathable. Feels kind of like a sports bra but doesn't squish. I just love this bra. I now have 3 of them!" — YankeeFan
Colors/sizes: Comes in 11 colors from XS-3XL. I got the XL and it fits great.
Promising review: "Very comfortable bra. With a bigger bust, I find that many sports bras hurt my neck and shoulders but this provides enough support while being comfortable enough to sleep in." — Liz B.
The exact bralette I have I couldn't find, but this one looks just like it. I usually don't go for a "plunge" neckline, but this one really doesn't push your chest together and doesn't give you the "cleavage line" thing. Both triangles really cover your boobs. It's a low-support bra, so this would not be the choice for working out/when you want full chest coverage, but really comfy if you need something when running errands or working from home and just want some coverage.
Colors/sizes: This comes in six colors from XXS-XXL. I have the L, which really does not fit anymore, so I will be rebuying a bigger one.
Promising review: "Super soft and smooth. Comfortable all day long. Perfect true to size fit." — AmyM
I have the Ali low-back seamless bra, which I got in some subscription box last fall. It's super stretchy and soft and works really nice as a base layer/something to wear under tank tops and T-shirts. I will say, the size range is abysmal, which makes me reluctant to recommend it, but I do wear it a lot, so it feels worth sharing.
Colors/sizes: This comes in 17 colors in XS/S and M/L. I have the M/L.
Promising review: "This bra is so insanely comfortable I even slept in it. It feels softer than a tee, no pulling or bunching. My new favorite thing." — Sashy2
It's a super smooth and stretchy fabric that is totally invisible under a shirt. You'll forget you're wearing it, but it does give some compression and support, so you won't feel exposed. It is a racer back and has removable cups. I'm really never trying to wear "lingerie," but sometimes you do want something a little more lively than just a beige boxy bra. It's a fun piece that's cute to keep in the underwear drawer and it's less than $12, so it's kind of a low-stakes piece that you won't beat yourself up over if you only wear it out a few times.
Colors/sizes: This comes in nine colors and patterns in sizes XS-3XL. I have the 2XL.
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