John Oliver's Priceless Advice For Snack Brands Will Put Them In The Chips

The host urged makers of "nutritionally bankrupt" junk foods to bankroll his marketing solution.

John Oliver had some marketing advice for snack brands to chew on: Instead of posting drivel on Twitter, go back to making video games. (Watch the video below.)

On a “Last Week Tonight” web special posted Sunday, the host confessed his love of junk food and nostalgia for the 1990s, when companies cranked out electronic games to promote their “nutritionally bankrupt” products.

“Some of those games were pretty decent,” he said.

Brands like 7UP and Cheetos made games featuring mascots Cool Spot and Chester, respectively. Even healthier Chex got into the act with “absolutely nonstop violence,” Oliver noted. The cereal’s gimmick killed on supermarket shelves, with sales increasing 248%.

“What happened, snack brands?” Oliver asked. ”About 25 years ago you cracked the code of turning commercials ― the thing everyone hates ― into video games ―the thing everyone loves. I don’t wanna see Quiznos tweeting when the sandwich isn’t toasty or whatever the fuck. I want ’em to put me in the pilot seat of a 16-bit space ship shaped like a hoagie that fires ... lazers at alien vegans.”

Oliver will be happy to learn that Chex issued an updated version of its game last year, but there’s a lot more work ahead for snack brands. And it doesn’t involve posting memes.

“Log off Twitter and make something interesting, you fucking vampires,” he snapped.

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