12 Signs You're 'The Rock' Of Your Friend Group

AKA solid and dependable.

Are you level-headed in a crisis? Do you hide your anxieties or feelings from others? Meet your emotional type: “The rock.”

Emotional types are personality categories based on how you interact with other people and yourself, particularly in times of stress. The concept was created by psychiatrist Judith Orloff in her bestselling book, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Lifebased on what she observed with her patients in her practice. There are four styles, which include the intellectual, the gusher, the empath and the rock

Of course, human beings are complex. No one person fits into a box and it’s likely you’re a mix of different traits. But it’s still fun to investigate which characteristics apply to you and which one’s don’t in order to better understand yourself and how you relate to others.

Suspect you’re the rock in your group? We chatted with Orloff to get some more insight into this specific emotional type. Read on below to figure it out.

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"The rocks" are the strong and silent types.

1. As a rock, you have a difficult time opening up.

Rock types prefer to keep emotions to themselves. You prefer to listen to the feelings of others and be a solid support system instead. “Rocks typically don’t like waves,” Orloff told The Huffington Post. “They tend to withdraw a bit.”

2. You’re the first person friends go to when they're dealing with a problem.

Rocks are the type of people that friends count on as their emergency contact, Orloff says. You’re solid, dependable and remain cool in a crisis.

3. You know all of your friends’ secrets.

Because rocks are great listeners, you might be the go-to person when it comes to intimate details about a situation. “If a person needs something, rocks are always there to lend their support,” Ortloff said.

4. You're not a crier.

Dependable? Yes. Stoic? Maybe a little. “Rocks are emotionally strong for themselves and others,” Orloff wrote in Emotional Freedom.

5. You sometimes come off as unfeeling.

Rock types may not gush about feelings, which could make you appear a little aloof, Orloff says. “They have a lot to offer relationships,” she explained. “But they can afford to explore their emotions more so they can enhance those relationships.”

6. You have a tendency to internalize your emotions.

Rocks tend to push away stress and keep it from surfacing. “They could stand to feel their own emotions a bit more,” Orloff explained. This could be done by sharing feelings in small ways, whether it be confiding in one person or even jotting them down in a journal.

7. You have an even-keeled temperament.

The “strong, silent” thing is a rock’s MO. You’re seen as practical and level-headed, Orloff says. This is especially true when it comes to emotions.

8. You’re organized at work.

Your dependability also comes into play in the office, Orloff notes. “Rocks are organized at work, they show up on time and typically stick to one job,” she said. Spreadsheets and expense reports have nothing on you. 

9. You’re considered nonjudgmental.

A key component of being a good listener is doing so without bias. Rocks are rockstars at doing just that, Orloff noted in her book. This may mean you’re the perfect person to talk to when it comes to a mistake or some kind of blunder.

10. You get along well with sensitive people.

Empaths, or people who absorb others’ feelings, can benefit from being around you, according to Orloff. “The empath is very open and emotional and the rock is more steady and strong,” she said. “That balance is very good in partnerships.”

11. You tend to steer clear of conflict.

As stated earlier, rock types hate making waves. Orloff says this particular trait can be a big downfall, especially when it comes to relationships. “Conflict comes up, so they need to learn to tolerate that a bit,” she said.

12. You’re a loyal friend and partner.

Your reliability is cherished in relationships ― just as long as you make an effort to open up a little more. But that kind of loyalty is valued. As Orloff says, “a rock type will never forget a person’s birthday and will show up when they say they will.”

Sounds like a pretty positive personality, honestly. Thanks for being there, rocks!

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Before You Go

Personality Traits That Could Lead To A Longer Life
Conscientious(01 of06)
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In their 2012 book "The Longevity Project," which looked at research over the course of 80 years, authors Howard S. Friedman and Leslie R. Martin identified an association between being conscientious and a longer life span."Conscientiousness, which was the best predictor of longevity when measured in childhood, also turned out to be the best personality predictor of long life when measured in adulthood," the authors wrote in their book. "The young adults who were thrifty, persistent, detail oriented, and responsible lived the longest."Why do more prudent people tend to live longer? According to the authors, this group is more likely to take care of their health and avoid risks, and they also develop healthier relationships, whether it be romantic, friendly or work-related. "That's right, conscientious people create healthy, long-life pathways for themselves," Friedman and Martin wrote.And finally, the researchers point out that some people seem to have a biological predisposition toward a more careful personality. "While we are not yet sure of the precise physiological reasons," they write, "it appears that conscientious and un- conscientious people have different levels of certain chemicals in their brains, including serotonin."For more on the phenomenon, and other insights into longevity, check out "The Longevity Project" here. (credit:Alamy)
Easy To Laugh(02 of06)
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In a study published this past May in the journal Aging, researchers from Albert Einstein College of Medicine and Yeshiva University pinpointed several personality traits linked to a longer lifespan. Among the list? Frequent laughter, HuffPost reported when the findings were released.This probably relates to the fact that laughing reduces stress and helps to fight illness. Laughing can even help ease pain, leading to a happier life. (credit:Alamy)
Socially Connected(03 of06)
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Thank your family and friends for this one: a 2010 study published in the journal PloS Medicine found that strong social relationships can boost survival odds by 50 percent. The Brigham Young University and University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill researchers evaluated 148 studies. "We take relationships for granted as humans -- we're like fish that don't notice the water," BYU's Timothy Smith said in a statement about the findings. "That constant interaction is not only beneficial psychologically but directly to our physical health." (credit:Alamy)
Optimistic(04 of06)
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The same 2012 Aging study that identified frequent laughter as a boost to longevity also found that optimism might tack on years to your life. Out of the 243 centenarians evaluated in the research, most were optimistic and easygoing, study researcher Dr. Nir Barzilai, M.D., director of Einstein's Institute for Aging Research, said in a statement. "When I started working with centenarians, I thought we'd find that they survived so long in part because they were mean and ornery," Dr. Barzilai stated. "But when we assessed the personalities of these 243 centenarians, we found qualities that clearly reflect a positive attitude towards life." (credit:Alamy)
Happy(05 of06)
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Don't worry, be happy, live longer? A study published last year in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that older people who report being happy have a 35 percent decreased risk of dying over five years, HuffPost reported when the findings were released. The researchers evaluated more than 3,000 people by monitoring their happiness throughout the day -- they then followed up five years later to see how many had died."We had expected that we might see a link between how happy people felt over the day and their future mortality, but were struck by how strong the effect was," said study author Andrew Steptoe, a professor at University College, London, according to CNN. (credit:Alamy)
Extroverted(06 of06)
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A 2009 study published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society looked at the offspring of centenarians (other research has found exceptional longevity tends to run in families) -- the volunteers were typically in the high range for extroversion and agreeableness (but in the low range for neuroticism)."It's likely that the low neuroticism and higher extroversion will confer health benefits for these subjects," study author Thomas Perls, M.D., MPH, director of the New England Centenarian Study, said in a statement when the findings were released. "For example, people who are lower in neuroticism are able to manage or regulate stressful situations more effectively than those with higher neuroticism levels. Similarly, high extroversion levels have been associated with establishing friendships and looking after yourself." (credit:Alamy)

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