Tweets

He called on state legislatures to have the "courage" to overturn the presidential election in his favor as time is running out.
"Thank you Elizabeth! LOVE!" Trump replied to someone he thought was his sister, who praised his efforts to overturn the election.
"The most unrealistic part of the mandalorian is that he finds babysitters everywhere he goes."
"A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to a 'let’s circle back' guy — who knew?"
"I always keep my cool when using self-checkout machines because I want them to vouch for me as an ally during the robot uprising."
"Americans are treating coronavirus like I treat my period — pretending it’s finished when it is obviously not!"
"I was shaving and the 6yo asked why I was 'handsomeing.'"
These new-version Proud Boys are "standing bi," quipped one wag.
"My neck, my back, will my serotonin ever come back."