Most Americans Still Think Women Should Do The Bulk Of The Housework

It turns out that you ARE doing the dishes because of the patriarchy.
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Mike Kemp via Getty Images
Guess what? I hate you.

Household chores can be pretty fraught: Who does what and how is it decided? And what does it mean about equality and harmony in your household? 

If bitter fights over dirty dishes feel like the gender wars, or you’ve found yourself ranting about The Second Shifta new study from Indiana University suggests you’re onto something. For most Americans, the survey study found, chore roles align with traditional thinking on masculinity and femininity ― even among couples where a woman is the primary or sole breadwinner and even in same-sex couples.  

The researchers were surprised by how much gender mattered ― and how little income did.

“Most research on housework suggests that couples divide housework along different axes; for example, lower-earning partners do more housework than higher-earning partners,” said lead author Natasha Quadlin, a doctoral student at Indiana University. “Instead, our findings suggest that [gender] is by far the biggest determinant of Americans’ attitudes toward housework.” 

How the study worked

Quadlin recruited a randomized, representative sample of 1,025 participants and gave them each a sample marriage scenario to consider. The genders of the hypothetical partners and their relative incomes varied, along with information about their gender roles (in other words, if a partner could be described as more masculine or feminine).

Here’s an example of one of the vignettes:

Brian and Matt met five years ago and have been married for just over a year. Brian is a physical therapist at a hospital, bringing home about $57,500 a year, and Matt is a reporter for a local newspaper, bringing home about $25,250 a year. They are both very busy, each working 40 hours per week. Despite their busy schedules, they try to do things together regularly. In fact, one of the only reoccurring arguments they have is what to do on the weekend together. Brian usually wants to play basketball if they are going out, or watch an action movie if they are staying in. Instead, Matt would rather go shopping or watch a romantic comedy.

She then asked participants to indicate which partner should have primary responsibility for eight household chores and four childcare tasks. The household chores were: cooking, washing dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, doing laundry, “outdoor chores” (such as mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage), making auto repairs and managing finances. The childcare tasks were physical care, emotional care, discipline and primary caregiving.

Gender matters more than income

Participants assigned straight women more female-typed chores, more gender-neutral chores and more physical and emotional caregiving than their partners. This held true even if the woman earned more money than the man.

While relative income determined whether or not the husband or the wife would become the stay-at-home caregiver, Quadlin pointed out that low-earning men in straight relationships were still expected to do fewer chores and fewer childcare tasks than their wives.

But even though gender mattered most, Quadlin found that participants gave primary responsibility for cooking, cleaning, laundry and dishes, as well as being a primary caregiver for a child, to lower-earning partners, while expecting the higher-wage earners to manage the household finances. Income didn’t have any bearing on groceries, car maintenance or outdoor chores. However, the effects of relative income were minor — for instance, low-wage earners were given responsibility for cooking 55 percent of the time, versus 45 percent for higher earners.

Same-sex couples are still beholden to gender norms

Among both straight and same-sex couples, typically “female” chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping were assigned to the partner perceived as most “feminine.” 

Partners perceived as more masculine were assigned typically “male” chores like car maintenance and outdoor chores. Feminine partners were expected to care for a child’s physical and emotional needs, but discipline and stay-at-home parenting wasn’t linked to gender.

In same-sex couples, where the partners were by definition of the same gender, a stronger predictor for chore assignment was stereotypically gendered behavior, such as liking sports vs. liking baking. In straight couples, by contrast, sports-loving wives were still more likely to do the “feminine” chores than a husband who baked. 

This study shows we have a long way to go when it comes to equality at home

In contrast to Quadlin’s research, data compiled by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics show that American households are slowly evolving beyond traditional gender roles in the home. 

From 2003 to 2015, men’s participation in food prep and clean up on an average day increased from 35 percent to 43 percent, and the time spent doing these activities increased from 16 minutes to 21 minutes. During the same time span, the share of women doing housework on an average day decreased from 54 percent to 50 percent, and the time they spent doing housework declined from 58 minutes to 52 minutes. This data is broken up by gender, which means there’s no information about whether people are in same-sex or heterosexual relationships.

However, it’s still true that women do the lion’s share of housework. On an average day in 2015, 85 percent of women spent time doing things like housework, cooking, lawn care or financial management, while only 67 percent of men did so. Women spent an average of 2.6 hours on housework on the days they did housework, while men spent 2.1 hours.

And on an average day, 22 percent of men are doing housework like cleaning or laundry, while 50 percent of women are doing the same. It’s also clear that if women are partnered and have children, they’re more than likely coming home after a long day of work to face more household and childcare responsibilities than their partners. 

While these statistics indicate that women are still doing the bulk of housework and childcare, they can’t tell us whether it’s because she’s a woman, she acts more feminine or she has a lower salary than her (usually male) partner.

Quadlin’s survey disentangles the possible factors that might be driving this inequity, and shows clearly that a woman generally does most chores simply because she is a woman, she explained.

Why it matters that women are stuck with most of the chores

“We have data on how people spend their time, and how many hours people are spending on chores,” said Quadlin. “But by looking at Americans’ attitudes about who should be doing chores, we’re better able to understand what it is about partners that creates expectations about housework.”

This never-ending workday may have harmful effects on a woman’s health; a recent study found that women who work more than 60 hours a week are at a higher risk of several chronic diseases, while this wasn’t true in men who worked the same amount of time outside the home. 

And in addition to the health effects of this “second shift” of work women perform, other research shows that women are more likely than men to initiate divorce. This could be because they suffer more from deeply unequal divisions of household chores and childcare, even when both partners work. 

Despite the popular notion that same sex couples distribute chores more evenly (see Sheryl Sandberg’s advice for women to marry other women), Quadlin’s study shows that when couples have the same gender, they still fall prey to the same norms, using gendered behavior as a proxy for gender itself. 

Quadlin plans to publish this research in a journal in the future, but presented the results Aug. 21 at the American Sociological Association’s 111th Annual Meeting in Seattle.

Before You Go

10 Powerful Women On Raising Feminist Sons
Jillian Michaels, Trainer(01 of10)
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It’s most important to lead by example and show my son that women are just as strong, just as smart, just as capable. My son has an older sister, and two moms. Yes, he has strong men in his life, but he is surrounded by women. Sometimes he wants to do the things his sister does sometimes. He wants to wear our heels if she’s wearing our heels, he wants to have a doll if she wants to have a doll. And we let him. We don’t want him to think, “Oh no. That’s for girls.” We want him to appreciate that the things that are traditionally “feminine” are not less than, or off limits.

He’s four, so I haven’t thrown the word “feminism” at him yet, just because he can’t necessarily understand it, but it’s not something I’d shy away from in the future. We do talk a lot about equality. We’re a bi-racial family and we’re a same sex family. We make the concept of equality a very, very big deal in our household.

We’re also teaching him, right now, that no means no. So if I’m tickling him and he says, “No, stop!” I stop. I don’t keep playing. And I reiterate, “If you say stop, I’m going to stop, because I respect your boundaries.” I’m not quite sure how it will translate, but I think it's important that men begin to learn at a very young age that it’s OK for them to have boundaries, and that they need to respect other people’s boundaries. -- Jillian Michaels, trainer and author
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Emma Straub, Author(02 of10)
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I will often change words in books. For example, there’s that Dr. Seuss book, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, where there's a picture of a little girl brushing the hair of this funny creature, and it says, "All girls who like to brush and comb…" When I read it, I always change "girls" to "kids," because I don’t want my son to grow up to be a sexist moron.

In our family, my husband is far better at household stuff than I am, and I have a job and earn money, and I think my children will understand from day one that it's not really an option whether you're a feminist or not. -- Emma Straub, author of The Vacationers, as told to Cup Of Jo
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Feminista Jones, Writer/Activist(03 of10)
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It is important to raise a feminist son because it is important to instill values that include respecting the humanity, dignity, intelligence, and capacity of women. Feminism declares that women are human beings worthy of equal access to resources and opportunities and it is important for my son to grow up not only knowing it, but embodying it. I talk to him about the amazing things women have done historically and point out things we are doing now. When he says things that uphold oppressive social norms re: women, I immediately correct him.I know he picks up a lot of stuff at school, but I do what I can to counter it. My son knows who I am and what I do, so I think he has taken it upon himself to be more vocal and supportive of women. He is proactive in his approach to learning and picks women for school projects. We have great conversations about how to treat girls at school with respect. We talk about consent and respecting people's wishes. These are the ways I think I can raise a feminist son. -- Feminista Jones, writer, activist (credit:Getty)
Amber Rose, Model/Activist(04 of10)
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Having [my son] was like, you know what, I have to be stronger than I ever have been in my whole life, for him. He needs to look at his mom as Superwoman. I'm raising him to be a feminist. Women are getting sexually assaulted. I've been sexually assaulted hundreds of times, just walking through the club.

When my son goes to school and his friend calls a girl a hoe, I want him to be the first person to say, "Man, that's not cool. You don't talk to women like that." That's very important to me. -- Amber Rose, model, actress, activist, as told to People
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Lisa Belkin, Journalist(05 of10)
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I asked my boys about [whether they feel they were raised to be feminists], and both of their reaction was basically, "Yeah, sure. Why?" I've decided that's the goal, for it to be a no brainer. I was determined to raise feminist sons, mostly because I was determined to raise smart, caring, respectful children. That includes the very simple, basic understanding that all human beings are equal.

I would love to be able to tell you we talked about it explicitly, but mostly, it was just me walking the walk. The goal was osmosis. They saw me in a marriage that was a partnership of equals, doing work that I loved in the same way as any of the men in their sphere, and it was pretty clear that this was my worldview. So it became their worldview. -- Lisa Belkin, senior national correspondent, Yahoo News, author of Show Me A Hero
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Ilyse Hogue, President, NARAL(06 of10)
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We impart what we know. I am a feminist. My husband is a feminist. Our family benefits from the equal partnership we have tried to build in creating a better world around us both at home and in our work.

I'm raising my son to be a feminist because he will be a better person for it. Instilling the value of gender equality from birth means that he will support his twin sister, his friends, and his daugthers should he ever have them. Raising my son a feminist means he will be better equipped to operate in a world where women are increasingly and rightfully in positions of power, and he will relish the benefits that brings to everyone. It means he will never be threatened by strong women; rather he will be emboldened to be a better him when challenged by an equal of the opposite sex. Raising my son to be a feminist is critical to him being all he can be, contributing positively to the world, and working for all human rights. And hopefully, in the next year, he’ll celebrate the first -- but not the last -- female president of his lifetime! -- Ilyse Hogue, president, NARAL Pro-Choice America
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Reshma Saujani, CEO(07 of10)
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As my 9-month old son gets older, I will expect him to support greater inclusion of his female peers in the classroom, on the sports field and in the workplace. I'll want him to learn to have a broader sense of what it means to be "masculine." I will teach him that it's normal for a boy to dress up as Elsa for Halloween or for a girl to play with superhero action figures. I will tell him that "playing like a girl" means throwing like Mo'ne Davis or serving like Serena Williams. I will make sure he knows it is OK for boys to cry and help him redefine "strength" if his instinct is to clench his fist. In my household, we'll show him equity: Daddy can do laundry, and Mommy goes on business trips. -- Reshma Saujani, founder, Girls Who Code, as written in The New York Times (credit:Getty)
Geena Davis, Actress(08 of10)
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If you wanted to only show kids gender-balanced movies, you'd see very few movies. Only 11 percent of movies could be classified as gender-balanced. Fifty percent of movies are seriously imbalanced, meaning 75 percent of the characters or more are male. But my kids see every animated movie that comes out. I don't say, "That seems imbalanced, we're not going to see it." They watch the shows that other kids watch on TV. But I try to watch with them, and I have from the very beginning. It's really important when they're really young. I can be their media expert.

Parents can teach media literacy. I'd say, "Hey, did you notice that only boys are in that scene, or doing that activity? Don't you think that girls could do it, too?" Or, "Why do you think there are more boys than girls in that show. Is that fair?" You can comment on how female characters look, and say, "Why do you think she's wearing that if she's going to rescue somebody? Does that make sense?" -- Geena Davis, actress, as told to Working Mother
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Lori Leibovich, Journalist(09 of10)
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I started talking about feminism early on, probably when my son was 5 or 6. I explained it as plainly as possible -- that feminism meant that men and women were equals and should be treated equally under the law and in all aspects of society and culture. But I don't think it really resonated for him until we started reading books together about people like Amelia Earhart or Harriet Tubman and he was able to understand how challenging things have been for women historically.

I use the word in many different contexts, but this election season especially. When my kids ask me why I'm supporting a certain candidate (or not), I say "Because so-and-so is a feminist and believes in women's equality." When the hearings about Planned Parenthood being defunded were happening, I talked to both kids about why it was important for women's health, and why it was essential that, as a feminist, I support Planned Parenthood. They got it -- and wore the Planned Parenthood T-shirts I gave them.

Pop culture is a roadblock. So much of what my son consumes has subtle misogyny, shows unhealthy images of women's bodies, or just presents women as accessories. He's into old James Bond movies -- he loves the action and the '70s cheese -- but in almost every film the female characters are just bikini-clad babes without much substance. So we talk about why, and I try to give him some context. I talk to him very directly about how distorted media images of women tend to be, and I've specifically explained Photoshop, air-brushing, and plastic surgery. I really want him to understand that what he sees is fake, and that those "ideals" are damaging -- to his sister, to me, and to all the women he loves and respects. -- Lori Leibovich, editor in chief, Realsimple.com
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Anne-Marie Slaughter, Author(10 of10)
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I don’t think of it as raising feminist sons. Now I think of it as, we need to raise boys who are as excited about challenging traditional masculine stereotypes as our daughters are about challenging traditional feminine stereotypes. Our boys have to feel not that they are feminists supporting women, but that they are doing something for themselves. I was thinking about Emma Watson's He for She, and I'm all for that, but I don't think that's going to do it. I think it's got to be He for He. -- Anne-Marie Slaughter, President and CEO New America, author of Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family, as told to New York Magazine (credit:Getty)

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