The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
“This is such a huge financial loss” me, after accidentally dropping a blueberry.
— Mad Hatter Mommy!!! (@MadHatterMommy) April 25, 2024
All this time I thought I was a good person but how I react to slow walkers in front of me would really suggest that I’m absolutely not a good person
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) April 25, 2024
I’ve officially rescheduled my wedding to 2026… such a difficult decision but it’s for the best due to due my schedule and the current climate. It will also give me more time to find the person I’m marrying so I guess it works out.
— B 💋 (@raysofberry) April 23, 2024
It's okay, facial recognition. I don't recognize myself anymore either.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) April 25, 2024
Girls will be like ‘1 year with my absolute world xxx’ and this is the picture: pic.twitter.com/35n63eCwH5
— Hannah (@hannah1989__) April 23, 2024
me: what should i dooooo
— Karli Marulli (@karlimarulli) April 23, 2024
nyt cooking: beany leeky greens with greeky rampy beans
13 year old girl came in to my barista job and asked “can i get one espresso? wait actually what’s in an espresso?” so thank u sabrina carpenter
— yamini :) (@showmetheyamz) April 24, 2024
the way I believe my therapist and I would be friends under different circumstances is probably how men feel when they think their hooters waitress is into them
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) April 24, 2024
“Are we still going?” – An attempt to cancel
— COURTNEY 🫶🏽 (@courtneyhalltv) April 24, 2024
so a US company has to buy tiktok or the app will be banned??? Well folks, looks like we need to put on the best talent show this town has ever seen.
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) April 24, 2024
when i invite people to things now
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) April 25, 2024
I’ve started saying “some pressure!” instead of “no pressure!” because i am trying to become a woman of conviction
was just stopped on the street by a guy who was in the middle of a debate and he asked me “excuse me miss— who is judy garlands daughter???” and girls when i tell you……it was like i lead my whole life just to finally get to this moment
— song & dance sam (@samlbla) April 22, 2024
3pm? sorry that’s my time to be the most tired I’ve ever been in my life everyday
— official game glenna (@glenna_opt) April 23, 2024
Sorry I was late I was refilling my purse Ibuprofen with my bathroom Ibuprofen.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) April 23, 2024
pavlov: my hair is so dry
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 25, 2024
dog: should have conditioned it
spring pros: pretty much everything
— trash jones (@jzux) April 22, 2024
spring cons: becoming harder to enjoy soup
feel bad for laughing, feel worse for taking a photo, but here we are and there it goes pic.twitter.com/kMwZETmqBp
— Natalie V Dávila (@natalievdavila) April 23, 2024
I just realized when Hootie and the Blowfish say "you wonder why I'm such a baby 'cause the dolphins make me cry" he's talking about the FOOTBALL TEAM and not just looking at dolphins playing and being overwhelmed????? Wtf????
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 24, 2024
airport border officer asked me "do you think people are born self-interested" after I responded "going to an academic philosophy conference" to the question "where are you going"
— Tender Lettuce 🥬 (@tenderlettuce) April 25, 2024
they had us burying time capsules in elementary school like we were the sole ppl responsible for archiving 2007
— chase (@_chase_____) April 25, 2024
Say sike right now pic.twitter.com/zyJHpuSEYG
— potato bun (@erewhonsmoothie) April 25, 2024
Age 25: I need cute shoes for this event.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) April 26, 2024
Age 45: I need cute shoes for this event that I can also wear to work and walk several miles in, don’t make me look old or like I’m trying too hard, won’t hurt my little toe or lower back, will last a minimum of 10 years & are on sale.
The cruelest prank on mankind was making bumblebees look so huggable and fluffy but with a poison butt sword.
— Alison the Read (@alisontheread) April 25, 2024
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Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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