The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
next time im in a crowded space ima start moving men out the way by their waist
— abz (@abra) July 19, 2021
Olympics news is so wild. Every item is like "entire Danish swim team lost in lava pits," or "opening ceremony producer resigns after people recall his history of eating stop signs," or "God begs us to stop"
— literary agent needing jerk (@rajandelman) July 22, 2021
girls don’t dress for men, girls dress to stare at their own reflection in every window they pass
— elise ♡ (@judahelise) July 19, 2021
can’t talk rn i’m doing hot girl shit*
— meg z (@bymeg) July 21, 2021
*eating salt and vinegar chips to the point of causing dozens cuts along the roof of my mouth and gums
do not slack me directly after a long meeting I am in the kitchen making a little iced coffee and watching three tiktoks it's called work life balance
— Alice Wilder (@Alice_Wilder) July 19, 2021
kids teeth fall out and we celebrate that
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) July 19, 2021
I hate going to the nail salon. I wish I could just drop my hands and feet off and come back for them
— Dior (@diorkenn) July 21, 2021
*not letting my husband sleep until we finish this discussion* pic.twitter.com/UVSFKYM8Jy
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) July 19, 2021
if you close your eyes and press on them, that's what space looks like and you've saved yourself millions of dollars
— beth (@bethbourdon) July 20, 2021
A guy asked me to “send pix” last night so I sent him this and he blocked me lmao pic.twitter.com/tLpi068asJ
— harper-rose drummond (@HarperRoseD) July 21, 2021
Instead of sleep, the human body should survive on 7-10 hours of dissociative phone time
— Allie Levitan (@alliegeelev) July 21, 2021
just started referring to my ovaries as “my nuts” and I feel better already
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) July 22, 2021
Thinking about the slab of foam they gave me in the hospital because they “thought I’d enjoy it” pic.twitter.com/7Ndb0uvv3C
— Sophie (@jil_slander) July 20, 2021
Why is space so dark. Isn’t the sun right there??? Nobody answer
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) July 22, 2021
My mom keeps saying, “Now that you’re finally old enough…” then she goes on to tell me some deep dark family secret that she already told me when I was in elementary school.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) July 22, 2021
y’all ever scare y’all self? 😂 like i was in the garage and i told myself “ you got 10 seconds to go upstairs or he Gon get you” LMFAOOOOO LIKE HUH
— bri baybeee💕 (@txhottie__) July 19, 2021
“Ugh I’m such a Carrie!”
— Erin And A Half Ryan (@morninggloria) July 18, 2021
- me every time I get revenge using my telekinesis
My life is almost as chaotic as the zara website.
— Hannah Berner (@beingbernz) July 23, 2021
“I’ll just wake up early tomorrow morning and finish this.”
— always manifesting ✨ (@Steph_I_Will) July 21, 2021
*early tomorrow morning* pic.twitter.com/lf1NTwFETQ
reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain
— Rachel (@femaleredhead) July 20, 2021
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