Comic Patton Oswalt had to deal with an unlikely heckler on Tuesday when one of Sen. John Cornyn’s official Twitter accounts slammed some of his old jokes for foul language.
Oswalt had appeared briefly in a campaign announcement video for Democrat MJ Hegar, a combat veteran seeking to unseat the Texas Republican next year.
The “Team Cornyn” Twitter account ― run by campaign staff and not the senator himself ― responded by slamming the 2020 rival as “Hollywood Hegar” and retweeting “offensive comments” in old tweets by Oswalt, censoring both profane words and even non-profanities, such as “penis.”
It even attempted to saddle Oswalt with a nickname: “Vulgar Patton.”
Oswalt gleefully retweeted the slams ― then threw in some extra comments directed at the Texas senator and whoever is running his account:
Oh my God. Lemme put a nickel in the swear jar and then you can tell me about your crush on Theda Bara, you pointless fossil. https://t.co/iaGaJxCymU
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 23, 2019
I just noticed: you *****’d the word “penis.” Oh my god you Pepperidge Farm dipshit. Go tell your constituents about the time you babysat Chester A. Arthur, drink your Ensure, and sit down. https://t.co/iaGaJxCymU
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 23, 2019
"Dildo" isn't a word that needs asterisks, Incel Ira. For example, "The dil** that runs @TeamCornyn must hate his life" can be written "The dildo that runs @TeamCornyn must hate his life." #lifehack https://t.co/pDCkCNxmrR
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 23, 2019
Oh my God. HOW did you find an offensive Tweet in my Twitter feed? Next, go into the @McDonalds Twitter feed and see if they mention "hamburgers," Woodward. https://t.co/4t5JwwH2iv
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 23, 2019
Vagina. Scrotum.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 23, 2019
Do you also bleep out "appendix" and "kidney"? https://t.co/NKjdoUQ84b
Whoa! An Anthony Weiner joke! I love this journey through time you're taking us on, @TeamCornyn! https://t.co/sVyIW4pbZ2
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 23, 2019
Others also joined in as the senator’s tweets got hit with the dreaded ratio:
Intern: This really isn’t playing well, sir.
— #SaveODAAT (@Danny__Gokey) April 23, 2019
Cornyn: keep searching his tweets, whipper-snapper.
Intern: But the Internet is laughing at you. Patton is not your opponent.
Cornyn: But look at all the likes!
Intern: Sir, those are comments... you’re being ratioed.
This is a fun game! pic.twitter.com/ZTFHwTFk5Z
— 🏳️🌈 [➖] Clark 🏳️🌈 (@TheSpartanLives) April 23, 2019
LOL your buddy just tweeted this over Easter weekend. I can tell you're very sincere about the pearl-clutching! pic.twitter.com/GDPWkDIVTx
— Erick Fernandez (@ErickFernandez) April 23, 2019
does your office have enough fainting couches
— waterslide enthusiast (@KrangTNelson) April 23, 2019
Have you thought this through
— Jessica Shortall (@jessicashortall) April 23, 2019
Today I watched one of my senators try to hold a professional comedian to standards that he wouldn't hold the president to. You guys just keep making this story more and more ridiculous.
— Pat (@castlecraver) April 23, 2019
Oh man! Just wait til you see who’s in charge at the GOP!
— Nathan Quarry (@NateRockQuarry) April 23, 2019
Awkward!
At this point I have to assume you guys are really the PR team for @pattonoswalt’s upcoming tour. Heckuva job there.
— Tanya Miller (@xwordtanya) April 23, 2019
Nah still think your Mussolini quote was more offensive pic.twitter.com/bLcMZLcrBm
— Abby Haley (@abbatronhaley) April 23, 2019
Weird for a comedian to curse. Enjoy the ratio.
— woods (@thestevenwoods) April 23, 2019
Ratio as big as Texas.
— Jowana Bueser (@jowanabueser) April 23, 2019
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