6 Questions You Were Afraid To Ask About Older People Having Sex

Quit squirming and listen up: Older people are doing it every day. Now, deal.
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Jan Nordstrom via Getty Images

1. Do they, you know, really do it?

Yes, they really do it. How are we so certain? Well, for one, they aren't doing it very safely. The STD rate in older adults is rising, says the Centers for Disease Control. The number of new HIV infections is growing faster among people who are over 50 than those under 40.  

2. Why aren't they practicing safe sex, like we were taught to?

Many seniors who hit the dating scene after a long marriage simply aren't prepared. They came of age at a time when the main concern was avoiding unwanted pregnancies. Condoms were seen strictly as contraceptives, and once you got past menopause, nobody worried about getting pregnant. Today’s seniors never got the talks about how you could actually die from sexually transmitted diseases. And clearly they aren't doing such a great job of learning about them now.

The other shoe to drop comes from the foot of medical professionals. They make ageist assumptions about older patients' sex drive and assume they all have flaccid penises and dead-on-arrival libidos. These pervasive myths create a barrier and limit older adults’ access to information on how to have sex safely, says Senior Planet.

At least "Scrubs'" Dr. Cox got it right.

 

3. What's the oldest you can be and still have sex?

As disturbing as you might find the thought of your parents or grandparents having sex, the truth is they’re still human beings with human-being urges. Thanks to medical advances, people are living longer and healthier. You aren't going to find Grandpa spending his twilight years hunched over a TV tray eating a microwaved meal; he's out there having fun.

4. Do body parts still function the same?
 
More or less, yes. As expected, people have less sex as they got older — a fact largely attributed to each individual's overall health. Men struggled to achieve an erection roughly 39 percent of the time; women said they lacked a sufficient sex drive 32 percent of the time and couldn't reach orgasm 27 percent of the time, according to the Sexual Health and Well-Being Among Older Men and Women in England study.

Some things, however, simply never change. The same study found that men, on average, cared more about their sexual performance than women did and also reported greater dissatisfaction with their sex lives than women. As women aged, their dissatisfaction rates actually tended to decrease, said the study. The sex may have actually gotten better for them -- or maybe it just got less important.

5. Don't most older people just cuddle and call it sex?

Don't knock cuddling! Affection at any age is important. Roughly 31 percent of men and 20 percent of women reported kissing and petting on a regular basis, the British study found. While mild public displays of affection are pretty much where our assumptions about older intimacy begin and end, in reality older people are not just stopping at second base. In other words, cuddling is great and so is having sex. Older people don't mistake the two; do you?

6. Aw, c'mon. Old-age sex is funny, isn't it?

Actually, it's pretty serious business. It deserves to not be filtered through a lens of humor or disgust. We can start by not demeaning it. Older couples dancing intimately  aren't "cute." Save the "cute" for babies and puppies.

And there you have it. Remember, hope springs eternal.

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The Kid(01 of12)
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Who: Ralph Macchio, 50
Why: He kicked his way into the hearts of 80s teens as the David to Cobra Kai's Goliath in The Karate Kid. Macchio's baby-faced good looks made him a mainstay in other hits from the era, including The Outsiders and My Cousin Vinny, before he disappeared from the big screen. It wasn't until he appeared on Dancing With The Stars that we remembered Daniel-San is quite a looker.
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The Smile(02 of12)
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Who: Steve Martin, 66
Why: The comedian who brought belly-laughs to "Saturday Night Live" has introduced his audience to all of his talents over the years. Whether it is his memoir "Born Standing Up", his pieces for "The New Yorker", or his Grammy winning bluegrass album -- Steve Martin's clearly not slowing down -- and we don't want him to.
The President(03 of12)
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Who: Barack Obama, 50
Why: Besides being the first African American to hold the office of President of the United States, the Harvard-educated Barack Obama has clearly kept his family a priority, taking on another role as assistant basketball coach, and, as his Father's Day essay reports, making sure his two girls still 'do their chores, make their beds, finish their schoolwork and take care of the dog,' regardless of their White House residency.
The Virgin(04 of12)
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Who: Richard Branson, 61
Why: The British business tycoon has conquered just about everything -- including space. When Branson was 16, he started a magazine called Student, and hasn't slowed down since.

Branson has always enjoyed what he does, which is one of the reason we believe he is so successful. "For me business is not about wearing suits, or keeping stockholders pleased. It's about being true to yourself, your ideas and focusing on the essentials," asserts the billionaire.Branson is a representative of The Elders, a group determined to reach peace, eliminate suffering, and provide education around the world. This is one of his many humanitarian participations.Photo: Getty
The Sundance Kid(05 of12)
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Who: Robert Redford, 75
Why: The two-time Academy Award winning actor has done more than star in some of the most memorable films of all time -- he's helped make sure movies get made. In 1969, Redford bought Timphaven Mountain in Provo, Utah - which he renamed, "Sundance" after his iconic role of "The Sundance Kid".
The Sundance Film Festival is the preeminent event for Independent films in the United States. Redford was the inaugural chairman.Photo: Getty
The Director(06 of12)
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Who: Steven Spielberg, 64
Why: Although he made his make in films such as "Jaws" and "E.T.", his later films reflect a more serious nature. "Schindler's List", "Saving Private Ryan", and "The Color Purple" are examples of his work which resonate on greater cultural challenges. Spielberg has donated to numerous hospitals, charities, and disaster relief organizations.
The Barista(07 of12)
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Why: The former Chairman and CEO fo Starbucks is more than the man behind a good cup of coffee.

Schultz has lead with his soul, allowing him to act responsibly in his business ventures. He speaks out on his concerns of the global economic crisis and has been awarded numerous times for his charitable efforts. Specifically, the National Leadership Award, the International Distinguished Entrepreneur Award and the FIRST Magazine Responsbile Capitalism Award.
The Gentleman(08 of12)
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Who: Tom Ford, 50
Why: The Texas born Fashion designer, style icon, architecture buff and Academy Award nominated director is one of the most important men in popular culture today.

Ford transformed the house of Gucci (which was valued at $4.3 billion when he started and $10 billion when he left) back into a Fashion powerhouse. Shortly after, he started Tom Ford - a brand, which when it started, was considered to be the epitome of a modern day gentleman's wardrobe. Although sometimes controversial, Ford has spoken out about his homosexuality and his opinions on monogamy and sexuality.
The General(09 of12)
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Who: Colin Powell, 74
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The Quarterback(10 of12)
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Who: Dan Marino, 50
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The Laugh(11 of12)
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Who: Alec Baldwin, 54
Why: While we wag our fingers at the actor's tendency for outrageousTwitter outbursts -- and extreme love of Words With Friends -- Baldwin's charm knows no bounds.

As SaturdayNight Live's most frequent host, the smarmy exec with the heart of24K gold on 30 Rock and the narrator of the phenomenal Frozen Planet series, we'll look the other way at the 54-year-old's morejuvenile tendencies.
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The Anchor(12 of12)
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Who: Matt Lauer, 54
Why: Co-host of NBC's "TODAY" since 1997, the dashing Lauer is the cream in our morning coffee, mixing the serious presidential interviews and reporting from the Middle East with the just-plain-goofy, including that "Where In The World Is Matt" travel segment thing and a recent smooch with Howard Stern. Only Lauer has the brains and the likability to strike the balance with panache.
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