The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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Dog owners will pick names like max or bailey and cat owners will literally name their cat beef stroganoff
— Jennifer Xiao (@jxiaoo) March 27, 2021
Just listened to my dad try to explain my dissertation to the rest of my family and I now understand why hearsay is inadmissible in court.
— Jaclyn A. Siegel (@jacasiegel) March 27, 2021
notice how we say “man” whenever we’re disappointed
— TheGbemisola🍸 (@Gbemideyforyou) March 28, 2021
boomers think they’re texting on the sly, then you glance at their phone and it’s like “barb’s a bitch” in 25pt font
— alyssa bereznak (@alyssabereznak) March 28, 2021
are you http? because I’m :// without you
— Kehinde🌍☄️💕 (@kehindee_b) March 28, 2021
the fedex guy just waved to me from his truck and yelled “nothing for u today!!” and it felt particularly bleak
— SadeVEVO (@fillegrossiere) March 30, 2021
don't let the media lie to you panic attacks count as cardio
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) March 31, 2021
just realized I’m gonna have to make good on a lot of “after we’re vaccinated” talk in the very near future oh well time to leave the country I guess
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) March 31, 2021
thinking about how many times i’ve probs been killed in fuck marry kill
— sadie (@sadiedumont) March 29, 2021
the ten plagues are a classic example of a union escalation plan
— 🗑 (@daniellesmitle) March 28, 2021
can’t wait to put “fully vaccinated” on my dating profiles like an adoptable dog
— Molly Priddy (@mollypriddy) March 27, 2021
D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs
— chase (@_chase_____) March 31, 2021
whenever i plug in a USB it’s like okay woman in STEM vibes
— anja (@internetanja) March 29, 2021
The fact that Stanley Tucci is so fine despite his name being Stanley only underpins the power of his fineness and yes I’ve had 3 wines send tweet.
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) March 29, 2021
cleaning your glasses be like changing from 360p to 1080p
— ✨ (@triiad_) March 30, 2021
i’ll be like “long story short” then still tell an entire fully detailed story
— niggasbebrokeokayy (@khilanii) March 27, 2021
Sorry I’m late I sat in my bed in a towel for 45 minutes staring at the wall
— saturn (@SweetLuvaa) March 28, 2021
You ever just be on your computer checking email and then pick up your phone...to check your email? 🥲
— Amy Aniobi (@janiobi) March 28, 2021
Driving through the Midwest is just absolute nothingness and then every 70 miles you see “GOD IS REAL / HELL IS REAL TOO” followed by a sign for a store that sells XXL dildos
— b-cup joan holloway (@reservoirpawgs) March 29, 2021
The Popeyes chicken sandwich thing was really chaotic why were y’all acting like that
— Kim. (@_KimChanel_) March 28, 2021