The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter here.
I think we will regret this tiny sunglasses look
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) May 14, 2018
“I digress” - me all day, every day.
— Quinta (@quintabrunson) May 17, 2018
Accidently smiled at someone again because I was thinking about food.
— elizabeth williams (@Elizasoul80) May 14, 2018
Yesterday: 9 million ants in my kitchen
— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) May 14, 2018
Today: Zero ants in my kitchen
WHAT ARE THEY PLANNING
If I let you in traffic and you don’t do a wave of thanks I will follow you home and insist you cook me an elegant roast meal.
— Deirdre (@figgled) May 14, 2018
I never call myself my dog’s mom because she’s a dog. But then I really wanted crack pie from Milk Bar so I whispered “this is my Mother’s Day treat” as I ordered it.
— Ashley Nicole Black Panther (@ashleyn1cole) May 14, 2018
It started out with a Yanny
— Chloe Bryan (@chloebryan) May 15, 2018
How did it end up like Laurel
It was only a Yanny
It was only a Yanny
this is the only book on my wish list pic.twitter.com/bKH461FadS
— stephanie (@mckellogs) May 15, 2018
Coffee mugs do a lot of heavy lifting when it comes to personality in the workplace
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 16, 2018
I love Sandra Bullock movies that start with everyone hating her because she's a woman and good at her job
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) May 14, 2018
I just got hit on by a teenager. This is what happens when I don't put my face on.
— Morgan Jerkins (@MorganJerkins) May 14, 2018
Welcome home, new bottle of lotion! Meet your new family: 89 almost-empty bottles of lotion turned upside down in the cabinet.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 15, 2018
I want to sleep for 15 hours on a gigantic couch surrounded by 2 golden retrievers, 1 black lab, 1 yellow lab, 1 chocolate lab, 5 corgis, and a baby pug.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) May 17, 2018
Um I just saw a man carrying a pothos plant in a babybjorn and it felt like an Onion article come to life.
— Gina Mei (@ginamei) May 14, 2018
my time has come pic.twitter.com/r8je0mMQgo
— anna borges (@annabroges) May 16, 2018
My favorite sci fi show is The West Wing
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) May 14, 2018
there's an entire generation of millennial girls who moved to new york solely because of "the devil wears prada"
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) May 17, 2018
I spend so long in mornings staring at outfits trying to see if I can get away with not ironing them
— bolu balenciaga-babalola (@BeeBabs) May 16, 2018
i just heard a man say “I have to see the first mamma mia movie before the sequel comes out” and I’ve never been more turned on in my life
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) May 14, 2018
it’s time pic.twitter.com/1Fruru61kU
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 16, 2018
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