Queer VoicesasexualAsexualitySex

Here's What It's Like To Go Through Life Without Wanting To Have Sex

An inside look at asexuality.
By 

Editorial Director, HuffPost Personal

Director of Multimedia Platforms, The Huffington Post

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Producer

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Despite more and more people becoming aware of the expansive variety of sexual orientations out there, asexuality remains widely unknown and unexplored in popular culture.

An asexual -- or ace -- is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which AVEN, the Asexual Visibility and Eduction Network, notes, people choose, "asexuality is an intrinsic part of who [they] are" and asexual people "have the same emotional needs as everybody else and are just as capable of forming intimate relationships."

To learn more about what it means to be asexual and how asexuals' lives differ from people who feel and express sexual attraction, HuffPost Love+Sex Podcast co-hosts Carina Kolodny and Noah Michelson chatted with Joseph, a 19-year-old asexual living in Florida; Bauer, the founder of the asexual meet-up group Aces NYC and the Aces Wild YouTube channel; and Anthony Bogaert, the author of "Understanding Asexuality" and a professor of health sciences and psychology at Brock University: 

The HuffPost Love+Sex podcast is produced by Katelyn Bogucki and edited by Nick Offenberg. Production assistance and design is provided by Lauren Bell.

Like Love + Sex? Subscribe, rate and review our podcast on iTunes.

Have an idea for an episode? Need help with a question about love or sex? Find us on Twitter at @HuffPostPodcast or email us at loveandsexpodcast@huffingtonpost.com.

Lesser Known Sexual And Romantic Identities
Asexual(01 of12)
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An asexual is “someone who does not experience sexual attraction.” Asexuality.org also notes, "Asexuals may regard other people as aesthetically attractive without feeling sexual attraction to them. Some asexual people also experience the desire of being affectionate to other people without it being sexual. If you do not experience sexual attraction, you might identify as asexual." (credit:Digital Vision. via Getty Images)
Aromantic(02 of12)
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"An aromantic is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others,” according to Asexuality.org. The site also notes that “aromantics do not lack emotional/personal connection, but simply have no instinctual need to develop connections of a romantic nature. Aromantics can have needs for just as much empathetic support as romantics, but these needs can be fulfilled in a platonic way.” Being aromantic is usually “considered to be innate and not a personal choice,” in the same way that asexuality is considered innate. (credit:Fuse via Getty Images)
Graysexual(03 of12)
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Jared, one man who identifies as graysexual, defines the term as a "magical place between asexual and someone who is sexual." The Frisky defines it as "something more fluid between sexuality and asexuality." Those who identify as graysexual might also identify as gay or straight or any other sexual identity inside or outside of the binary. (credit:By Wunderfool via Getty Images)
Demisexual(04 of12)
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Someone who identifies as demisexual doesn’t typically feel sexual attraction unless they “have already formed a strong emotional bond with the person.” Asexualityarchive.com also notes that “the bond may or may not be romantic in nature.” (credit:Betsie Van Der Meer via Getty Images)
Demiromantic(05 of12)
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Similar to a demisexual, the individual doesn’t feel romantic attraction “unless they have already formed a strong emotional bond with the person.” (credit:Caiaimage/Tom Merton via Getty Images)
Lithromantic(06 of12)
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According to asexuality.org, the term is described as “a person who experiences romantic love but does not want their feelings to be reciprocated.” The site also notes that lithromantic people “may or may not be ok with romantic relationships.” (credit:Dougal Waters via Getty Images)
Pansexual(07 of12)
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Pansexual refers to those “who feel they are sexually/emotionally/spiritually capable of falling in love with all genders.” (credit:DreamPictures via Getty Images)
Polysexual(08 of12)
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Similar to pansexual, a polysexual person “may be attracted to some gender variant people but not have the capability or desire to be with some others.” (credit:Dynamic Graphics via Getty Images)
Panromantic(09 of12)
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A person who is romantically -- but not sexually -- attracted to others regardless of sex or gender. (credit:Asia Images via Getty Images)
Skoliosexual(10 of12)
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According to Genderqueerid.com, skoliosexual refers to “sexual attraction to non-binary identified individuals" or those who do not identify as cisgender. The site also notes that “this does not generally describe an attraction to specific genitalia or birth assignments but rather is an inclusive term.” (credit:Leren Lu via Getty Images)
Queerplatonic Relationships(11 of12)
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Relationships that “are not romantic in nature but they involve very close emotional connections that are often deeper or more intense than what is traditionally considered a friendship.” (credit:Jupiterimages via Getty Images)
Zucchini(12 of12)
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The name for a partner who is involved in a queerplatonic relationship, as in "he's my zucchini." (credit:diego cervo via Getty Images)

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