'SNL' Newbie James Austin Johnson Debuts As Convincing Biden Who Can't Get Dems Together

At least he "went the entire summer without falling down the stairs once," boasted "Biden."
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New “Saturday Night Live” cast member James Austin Johnson dug deep to play a convincingly folksy, ditsy Joe Biden who can’t get Democrats to play nice in the cold open of the Season 47 premiere.

“What’s cookin’? What’s good? How you doin’? How’s everybody’s summer?” asks his Biden. “Mine was bad — not Cuomo bad, but definitely not Afghanistan good.”

“Everyone keeps razzin’ me about that drone strike,” he adds. “But on the bright side, I went the entire summer without falling down the stairs once.” 

“Biden” then tries to wrangle a mixed bag of Democrats on the stalled infrastructure package.

“What do I want from this bill? I’ll never tell,” smirks Cecily Strong’s Sen. Kyrsten Sinema. “I didn’t come to Congress to make friends, and so far, mission accomplished!”

Ego Nwodim’s Rep. Ilhan Omar declares she was “designed” to “give Tucker Carlson a heart attack.” And Melissa Villaseñor’s Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez calls herself the “Cruella of the Met Gala,” adding: “I wore a dress that said ‘Tax the Rich,’ then spent all night partying with the rich. Oops!”

Aidy Bryant’s Sen. Joe Manchin is opposed to child tax credits because then “how are they going to get them to work in the mines? We need their tiny hands to dig. ... We need the little kid fingers to gather the little pieces.”

Pete Davidson pops up as former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo who compares the Democrats to “one big Italian family. And you know what Italians like to do: Hug and kiss and run their fingers up each other’s backs.”

Biden desperately points out: “Fundamentally, we’re all the same.”

Davidson responds: “Screwed!” 

Check out the video up top.

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