It Wouldn’t Be Logan Roy’s Funeral Without Maximum Drama

I can say with full certainty that I have absolutely no clue what to expect. None at all. I will truly miss television that keeps me on my toes like this. — Ruth

Yeah, I have no idea and I don’t really want to know. But I hope Jess and Gerri work together somehow. — Candice

Right, it’s always a fool’s errand to make predictions about this show. I just hope the series finale is as satisfying as watching this show has been, and that it feels definitive. Judging from this spectacular final season, I have faith that they’ll stick the landing. But whatever happens, I will miss talking about this show, and talking about it with both of you! — Marina

I zoomed in several times to look at the detail on this fictitious New York Times story on ATN’s election night debacle. (In news, it’s what we call a “tick tock,” a timeline and breakdown of how something unfolded.)

Two things of note:

1. The date is Wednesday, Nov. 9, which may remind you of a certain real-life election
   
   
2. “12:15-18 A.M.: Darwin Injures Eye At Critical Moment”! *chef’s kiss*

Kudos to Tom for skipping the entire funeral debacle, because he was apparently too busy reading documents or whatever to attend. Few characters on this show have the level of inflated importance as Tom. You’re tired? Take a nap. You don’t actually do anything except what you’re told. Him coming to the funeral just to announce that he’s tired is a very him kind of flex. But I am very curious about how he and Shiv are going to deal with the whole pregnancy thing. I guess that’ll be answered in the finale. — Candice

The day after a presidential election is always exhausting, let alone for the head of the network who probably incorrectly called the election and is now facing some serious legal troubles. So I imagine he’s been busy dealing with the fallout, talking to lawyers, etc. Not disagreeing with you, Candice, on your larger point on his ineptitude and power-grabbing nonsense. But I could see why he basically has not slept this entire season. “Bedtime for Bonzo!” — Marina

Oh, yes, for sure. He is cleaning up the whole election nightmare that was primarily caused by decisions the siblings made that he only enacted. He’s probably taking the fall for the whole thing, because that’s what he does. But I wonder if he will finally sell them out. I’d live for that. — Candice

Totally. — Marina

I kind of hate that we’re not going to get a real Rava-telling-off-Kendall moment before the end of the series (he definitely deserves it), but the perpetually stressed-out Rava will have to do. Think about the kids — we must get out of town! Kendall acting as though all of this is copacetic and downplaying Rava’s concerns, as a protest brews on the same street there, is yet another example of how decidedly out of touch he is.

And threatening to sue Rava for full custody of their kids? Sir, you’re a murderer. Good luck with that. — Candice

Candice, I literally thought the same thing. If that man tries anything, I need Rava to spill every single thing — and I mean, everything — that he has ever done, and weaponize it against him. — Ruth

When he threatens to file an emergency restraining order to stop her from leaving the city — while she is already leaving the city — and she says: “Sure, go do that, OK?” I yelped in delight. I hope Rava takes those kids far, far away from their menace of a father.

The thing that ties together Kendall’s reactions to these two pieces of news: Of course, he fails to recognize how his decision to enable the election of a fascist president will have immediate consequences on two women of color in his life. And instead, he makes this all about himself! Of course. — Marina

Like Rava, I often forget what Jess’ name is. She has been far too sweet and accepted too much bullshit to not be like, “I’m Out!” I thought she was actually asking for a promotion at first, not giving her notice. Because she has been so loyal. And she was still being very respectful about it, even as Kendall began to Hulk out. She said she didn’t want to talk about it then! But Kendall, like so many characters on this show, prefers chaos and misguided anger. So, there you have it.

But Jess is free. So, she won. — Candice

As soon as Kendall asked what the meeting was about and Jess said, “Oh, uh, don’t worry about it,” I gasped. Because I KNEW that miss mamas was trying to exit. Waystar Royco is a sinking ship, and Jess has been through and witnessed enough to know that it’s time to go. I don’t know whether to applaud her or pity her for staying so long, but regardless, I'm glad she’s getting out.

Kendall was such a [insert expletive here] during the whole exchange. Mind you, Jess literally said that she didn’t want to tell him then and disrupt the day. I increasingly hate him more and more out of the siblings. — Ruth

Same, Ruth. I thought: “She’s doing it! She’s quitting! Go Jess!” — Marina

Kendall is … just … greedy and insatiable. I was shocked that at the burial site, he decided that was the best moment to summon Hugo and orchestrate his master plan: plant a false, dubious insider comment about tanking the deal and take over Waystar Royco by himself. “One head, one crown,” he said in Episode 7. Then calling Hugo his lapdog? And of course, Hugo wants job security, so that man said, “Woof, woof.” I was a bit disgusted, honestly. But when have these children ever exhibited an ounce of couth or tact? They’ll kill each other over a penny. — Ruth

Is Matsson maybe giving Shiv a new job?I mean, I don’t really know why Shiv would trust anything Matsson says at this point, but I guess she’s desperate and pregnant — and literally everyone at this funeral knows that. I’m honestly majorly embarrassed for her here. But Kendall and Roman are most certainly going to find a way to screw her out of the family business, so I guess she has to hang on to something.

It’s just that Matsson sort of offering her a CEO position is akin to Kendall being named the successor. OR WAS HIS NAME ACTUALLY CROSSED OUT?

I think Shiv is definitely getting that same very vague treatment. — Candice

Sis thinks she’s so bright, but Shiv is simply not. — Ruth

Of course, we must talk about all of Logan's exes sitting together in the front row. Marcia (Hiam Abbass) and Caroline (Harriet Walter) are two of my faves, so already, I was looking forward to them returning. And the absolutely genius penultimate episode Easter egg to cast Nicole Ansari (Brian Cox’s wife) as another one of Logan’s exes from way back? A+ television.

Marcia’s line at the end to Shiv — “He broke my heart. And he broke your hearts too.” — felt like a fitting farewell moment, assuming she isn’t in the series finale. Take a bow, Hiam Abbass! — Marina

This absolutely sent me, especially because Logan would’ve hated literally every second of those women convening and sitting together. It was giving “Real Ex-Housewives of Waystar Royco.” — Ruth

“Real Ex-Housewives of Waystar Royco”! I am cackling. I am not in favor of any “Succession” spinoffs — leave a good thing alone! — but there’s one great idea for one. — Marina

This is the segment I call “Caroline’s Chaos.” One of the many things I enjoy about her is that she very occasionally flits into a scene or episode, causes absolute pandemonium or hurts one of her children’s feelings pretty badly and just … disappears, rarely to ever be seen again throughout a season. Walter is just terrific.

Her bringing Kerry to the front row with Logan’s actual wife was HILARIOUS. Why did she do that? I don’t really understand why she does or says anything she does. She has no rhyme or reason or care in the world. I stan.

And I just knew Marcia was pissed but tried to maintain some sense of decorum at this dumpster fire. But I was shocked that she consoled Kerry. Why is Kerry this emotional over this man? This is so weird to me! It was all just hysterical and chaotic. — Candice

I recommend watching the post-episode commentary, where director Mark Mylod explains how they shot this similarly to Logan’s death episode. In order to capture all the chaos and constant motion, they shot it in one continuous take (or as continuously as possible), would reload one camera while another was rolling, and had multiple cameras going at the same time in order to get the speeches and the reaction shots.

I kept rewinding some of the eulogy scenes and noticed the level of detail. For instance, one thing I cannot stop thinking about: When Shiv talks about her dad’s misogyny and says how he “was hard on women,” the camera cuts to Gerri and Karolina. And then, it immediately does a focus pull to Kendall, who, like his father, treats women horribly, including in this very episode. A+ television.

Uncle Ewan said, “Hold my beer.” That man came with a vengeance — and the most appropriate eulogy. Kendall was talking about Logan as if he was the Santa Claus of news media. “He had a vitality, a force that could hurt ... filled men and women with desire.” Be fucking for real, sir. When they kept alluding to Logan being committed into the hands of God, I was thinking to myself, “Y’all do know that man is going straight to hell, right? Like, actually straight to hell in a handbasket.” — Ruth

This is the most I can recall Uncle Ewan ever talking and, man, did he come through. He refused to let one of the siblings recite revisionist history and told the church exactly who TF Logan is. More funerals, and even celebrity tributes for that matter, should be just like this. Factual.
I found it interesting that the siblings had far more rehearsed eulogies than Uncle Ewan, who spoke with his whole chest. Meanwhile, the siblings seemed like they were reciting things they were told or maybe copied and pasted a result from a “How to do a eulogy” Google search. They don’t even know what to say about their dad. And Shiv asking if he was really that bad? LOL. — Candice

Yeah, I kept thinking how it was so telling that even in death, these kids have nothing meaningful to say about their father. And Kendall’s remarks were just hilarious word salad: “The corpuscles of life gushing around this nation.” LOL, what?

Also telling: Shiv asks Frank and Karl that question after noticing how visceral Roman’s reaction is and how he’s clearly reliving some of their father’s abuses. And I chuckled a bit when Frank did not seem very convinced by his own answer. — Marina

First of all, this was expected. Rome was the ticking time bomb that we were all waiting to go off. Initially, I was like, “WHO assigned Roman, the child who was arguably abused the most by Logan, to deliver the eulogy?!” Then, Marina, once you reminded me that he assigned it to himself, I knew it was about to be a shit show. The stammering … the snotty nose … the way he asked, “Is he in there? Can we get him out?” Give Kieran the Emmy, NOW. When Matsson referred to Rome as “The Grim Weeper,” I audibly yelped in my apartment. What an INSANE, unhinged thing to say. I had to collect myself for the next few lines after that. And the episode ending with Roman getting trampled was ... something. — Ruth

Yeah, remember no one wanted it last episode? And then HE assigned it to himself, and we were all (rightly) like: “Welp, this is gonna be a disaster!”

I’ve rewound the “Is he in there? Can we get him out?!” multiple times. I know we say “give [X Actor] an Emmy!” like, every single episode. But Kieran Culkin has had so many incredible moments throughout the show’s run, and it’s hard to imagine Roman without Culkin’s panache. And Roman’s arc during this final season has especially stood out.

One of the many things I will miss about this show is the way there are these incredibly consistent through lines. Something I think about a lot is how “Succession” is about these idiot kids trying to escape the cycles of abuse started by Logan — only to keep spinning their wheels. Even in death, they can't escape. As you noted, Ruth, it’s absolutely not a coincidence that Roman, whom Logan abused the most, has the most visceral reaction here. And that theme of these unbreakable cycles of abuse runs through all of these characters and their “eulogies,” which we’ll, of course, get into.

It’s funny how this show almost — almost — got me feeling bad for the sibling who most directly enabled the election of a fascist president — and then had me cackling at the end when the protesters were pummeling him. This show contains multitudes. Starting with him bombastically rehearsing his failed speech and then ending with that: It’s a great set of bookends for the episode. — Marina

As expected, the biggest poser on this show is Roman — and he proved that once again last night. The whole “not your son, I’ve pre-grieved” shit was classic avoidance. Him saying that he wanted to fuck corpses and other truly inappropriate and disgusting things he said even long before the eulogy grossed me out. All I can think is that this man, this absolute asshole, also needs intense therapy. Breaking down at the podium was just the culmination, but doesn’t ameliorate any of his assholery.

I cackled when Kendall told Roman that he “fucked it.” I mean, all three of them did. Roman just did it more catastrophically. But none of them has ever been able to own up to their fuckery.

I was waiting for the camera to cut to Gerri, whose face was a perfect blend of repulsion and pity. My girl. And Matsson’s “Grim Reaper” comment was well played. None of the siblings should expect any respect from him as he, like each of them, is not a good person. They’ve all fucked each other. Business as usual. — Candice